Friend or Foe?
by Sassniss
Summary: If Katniss was hijacked by the Capitol instead of Peeta. Reversed roles. Based on the book Mockingjay and movie Mockingjay part 1.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys so incase anybody is confused in parts here is a couple of things: in this version Johanna mixed up the trackers and accidentally cut Peeta's out instead of Katniss's so that's why they were able to find her. Also I'm not sure if the part about sleeping makes sense it's just because in the movie they said part of Peeta's hijacking was sleep deprivation so I went with it.

And if there's any paragraph issues I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT it used to do it on the laptop but now i'm using an iPad and it does the same stupid thing and I don't know how to fix it i'm sorry.

Anyway this is my first story that I have done in about a year and I really wanted to try out this reversed role idea so I hope you all enjoy it.

Chapter 1

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. My home is District Twelve. I am Seventeen years old. I was in the Hunger Games. I escaped once. Now I'm in the Capitol. I am taken prisoner. I don't know what they are going to do with me. Peeta escaped. Peeta is safe. That's all that matters._

I say this to myself every night alone in my cell while holding the pearl in my hand that Peeta gave me in the Quarter Quell arena. I don't know exactly how long I have been here. A few days maybe? A few weeks, a few months, a few years. It feels like a few years. It feels like I have been here forever. I don't remember life outside of this tiny space. The cell that I am in is joined to about 5 other cells with the same number across from them, all with high metal bars that you can't possibly try to escape from as they have a special code on the door of the room which only members of high authority know. It would be stupid to try and escape anyway.

"At least Peeta is safe." I started muttering to myself while cramped in a tiny corner clutching onto the shiny pearl as if i was its mother and I was protecting it from the dangers of the outside world. "Maybe he's back in District Twelve, Prim and mom will take care of him. He'll be fine. He'll be okay." I must have looked a mess sitting there with my dirty fingernails and my hair all tangled in knots. I don't remember the last time that I have had a bath or ate anything. I haven't slept in so long either. The one thing they don't let us do is sleep.

I don't remember how I got here either, all I can remember is shooting an arrow at the forcefield in the arena and then i was thrown back as the whole place went into chaos. Peeta must have went back for me but it was obviously too late because I was already gone. They got me. Snow knew I was still in there and he wanted his revenge.

The other two victors who were captured, Johanna and Annie who I think is Finnick's lover, are in the two cells which are either side of me. Johanna is on the left and Annie is on the right. Despite being captured, Johanna hasn't lost her fighting spirit at all. She sits there everyday, muttering angrily under her breath about how she hopes that the districts destroy the Capitol and that President Snow is a bastard who shouldn't be leaving us to rot. I don't know what she is talking about with the districts but I really do admire Johanna. At least she's still not letting them win while the girl in the cell next to her sits shaking and clutching a pearl trying her hardest not to cry.

Annie is just as broken and defeated as me, maybe even worse. Everyday while Johanna rants and I sit in a corner she wails. She never stops wailing. She mostly wails because of Finnick and how much she misses him and needs him. Sometimes I try and calm her down to help both of us but it never works for very long. Johanna tries to help too in her own special way which involves insulting Snow again but this doesn't work either.

The high authorities I was talking about rarely come in which worries me. I think they are planning something. We do have guards and one stands there at the door for about an hour then a different one replaces them, just in case we do try anything.

Annie started wailing again so I put my hands over my ears to try and block out the noise. It's horrible hearing this all the time and sometimes it gets so bad that I end up screaming too so then Johanna has to try and calm us both down. All three of us are in this together.

Mostly all I do in here is think, about Peeta and about my family. Prim is stronger now but I feel sick when I think about her trying to handle me being here. She must know by now. She's managed to cope with me being in two Hunger Games but this is different. They could hurt me here. They could hurt me in so many horrific ways that I don't even want to think about. My mom will struggle without me too and Gale. Oh god. Gale hates the Capitol with a passion and i'm his best friend. I don't even want to know how he is handling this and Peeta. This could have been him. He could have been stuck here waiting to die but he's not and i'm so glad. I would rather it was me than him. Knowing that Peeta is safe is the only thing keeping me alive right now.

"Miss Everdeen?" I jumped as I heard a voice, someone, call my name.

This was such a shock to my system. No one has came down here in what feels like so long and certainly not for me.

"Miss Everdeen?" the voice said again. I flinched as I heard footsteps walking closer and closer to my cell until the person who was calling my name was right in front of me and I was forced to look at them. It was a man of high Capitol authority.

"You are wanted for interrogation." The man in front of my cell simply said, looking at me like I was dirt on his squeaky clean Capitol shoes, which I probably was to him.

"I-what?" I replied in confusion but he had left the room as quickly as he had came in. And then I realised all at once. _Interrogation_. They want to start breaking me. They want to start getting information from me. I don't have any information. I don't know what they are talking about. They are going to hurt me. They are going to kill my family. They are going to find Peeta. They are going to bring him here. What if Snow is in there. I can't handle this. I can't handle this. I can't-

"Katniss calm down.' Johanna said quietly which was extremely out of character for her as I began shaking uncontrollably, "calm down. Sssh it's okay."

It took me a while to stop and calm down but eventually I did. I took a deep breath because I knew deep down that they weren't going to do anything this early, maybe the questions won't even be that bad. They can't harm Peeta or my family because they aren't here. It's just me.

"It will be fine." Johanna said, "just go in there and show them your bad ass take no shit self."

That made me smile a little and i nodded at the guard who was currently standing at the door to open my cell. He opened it and I took my first steps out of that cell in forever. As I walked I started to feel more confident.

"Johanna is right, it won't be that bad," I thought as I left the room with the cells with a guard beside me at all times.

I was wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After what seemed like forever as we walked up so many stairs and went through so many corridors that it seemed like they would never end, me and the guard finally reached the interrogation room.

"Is this it?" I whispered, looking in front of me. I was facing a big black door which stood out from all the other identical grey doors that were here so it looked intimating. A faded printout of the Capitol seal was at the top and it almost felt like it was mocking me.

"Follow me Miss Everdeen." The guard said as he opened the door for me. He stood back and looked at me as I walked slowly in. I wondered what he was thinking. Whatever it was, he probably couldn't wait to get rid of me so I could stop being his responsibility. I wasn't even one inch into the room yet when I heard another voice address me.

"Sit down Miss Everdeen." Said this new voice and I turned round to see another member of Capitol high authority sitting down at a table. He pointed to the chair which was across from him. My stomach stopped twisting into knots when I realised Snow wasn't in here. It didn't stop me struggling to get air out of my lungs.

This man had a small stack of papers on his side of the table. I avoided eye contact as he took one out from the pile and put it over to my side so I could see it. It was a picture of me.

"Lets just start with the basics." The man said and then he cleared his throat. I wonder if he could hear how fast my heart was beating.

"Your name is Katniss Everdeen?" The man asked, slowly and almost gently.

"Yes. That's my name." I replied, just as slowly.

"You are seventeen years old?" He asked.

"Yes." I replied.

"Your home was District Twelve?" He asked.

"Yes." I replied quietly.

"You have a sister named Prim?" He asked.

That made me shake a little. "Y-yes."

"Okay." the man said and he sighed, obviously glad to have that out of the way. He pulled out another piece of paper and passed it over to me. I took it with shaking hands.

"Now I am very glad that you have been honest with me so far Katniss. I am going to ask you if you could continue to be this honest with me, can you do that?"

I forced myself to look up at him, his eyes were cold and green and she didn't trust them.

"Yes I guess I could do that." I replied. I didn't really have a choice.

"You and Peeta Mellark were the victors of the 74th Hunger Games?" The man asked.

I took a deep breath. "Yes. That's correct."

"You both decided to eat the berries together so that the Capitol couldn't have a victor, it that correct?" He asked.

That made me stop. How could I respond to that?

"Yes." Shit. I shouldn't have said that.

"And it was your idea because you said why should they have a victor, am I right?" He asked me.

I was beginning to really shake and panic. Are they going to punish me for this?

"Y-yes I said that." I forced myself to get the words out. "I don't know what I was thinking though."

"Oh I'm sure you did." the man said smiling, his teeth were too straight and too close together and they made me nervous. They made me so nervous that I wanted to bend over and throw up right now but I didn't want to disgrace myself anymore and look like a fool in front of this man more than I already did.

"Now Katniss. That was just a basic background of your life and what we have seen of you in the past and I must say, you have quite a strong...spunk." He replied and he started laughing to himself. I clenched my fists suddenly feeling defensive.

"How did you feel when you had to go back into the arena for the second time?" He asked.

Now it was my turn to laugh.

"How I did I feel? How did you think I felt? Do you have any idea what it's like to go through hell in a dome full of creatures and 24 other tributes who want your blood and to be asked to go through all that again? I felt like my life was over. I felt like it was the end of the world. I ran into the woods and cried and cried until there was nothing left inside of me. I was being dragged back into the place of my nightmares. I wanted to scream and tear things apart. I knew that if I went back in there, I would never return. So don't you fucking dare ask me how do I feel because you have no idea and you have no right to know!" My little speech had somehow turned from talking into shouting and the man just sat there watching and observing me. I was out of breath and the fire that had suddenly ignited from within me died out as soon as i stopped shouting.

"Well." The man said.

"Well what?" I asked hoarsely.

"There it is. The spunk. The fire. The flames. Katniss Everdeen." He said each thing as if it was spectacular. "President Snow always said that it was a wonderful thing to witness."

My stomach twisted as the man said his name. Snow. This is about him. I know it is.

"Katniss." He said my name as he leaned back in his chair but looked me in the eye very closely, "you might be pleased to know that I have one more question for you but it is a very important one. It's so important that this question leads to the future of the Capitol and the districts."

Now I was confused. "What do you mean by the future of the Capitol and the districts? What are you talking about?"

He didn't even bother to explain.

"Katniss Everdeen. Did you know about the rebel plan?"

"The-what?" Now I was confused. Very, completely, totally confused.

"You know, the plan to get you out of the Quarter Quell arena. All the other tributes were in on it."

"I honestly have no idea what you are talking about." I replied. This was true. I had no idea.

"DON'T LIE TO ME YOU STUPID GIRL!" The man suddenly yelled and slammed his hand against the table while made me jump. "I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT YOU WERE GOING TO BE HONEST WITH ME!"

"I am being honest. I don't know about any rebel plan." I said as calmly as I could but I began to shake uncontrollably when he got up from his chair.

"I am going to ask you one more time." He somehow managed to get up behind me and was breathing down my neck. I could hear the sound of my heart getting louder and louder as he got closer to my ear.

"Katniss Everdeen."

Thud.

"Did you"

Thud.

"know"

Thud.

"about"

Thud.

"the"

Thud.

"rebel"

Thud thud.

"Plan?"

"No. I don't know about any rebel plan." I said again with all the strength I could muster even though I knew he was going to do something to me but I wasn't sure what. "I don't know anything about this, I swear."

"I think you are lying." The man said in a deadly quiet voice which terrified me. "You know here in the Capitol, we don't like liars. We don't like people who think that they can defy us and get away with it. Especially people like you."

I whimpered and felt my whole body trembling as he raised his hand towards me slowly with a wild and evil look in his eyes. I closed my own.

He was going to hurt me. There was nothing I could do.

"Miss Everdeen, prepare to pay the ultimate price."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When I woke up, I automatically knew I was in deep shit.

I touched my face which turned out to be caked with both dried and fresh blood and I could hardly see out of one eye. Confirmed. I was in deep shit.

I tried to move one of my legs over and I cried out in agony, it was so painful. I tried to move one of my other legs and the same thing happened again.

"What have they done to me?" I thought as I looked up from where I was lying and saw five big guys staring at me with my eye that still worked properly. They all looked like members of high Capitol authority. One of them I automatically recognised as the man who was questioning me in interrogation. He made eye contact with me and I quickly looked away, my stomach recoiling.

I looked around the room, I seemed to be in some sort of dungeon. There was a dim light which only just made it possible to see in here. I looked next to me with my good eye and saw a table that was filled with all different kinds of torture instruments. Needles, drills and other types of instruments which I didn't recognise. I felt sick.

I spotted a door at the other end of the dimly lit room/dungeon. I can't possibly run with my injured legs and those 5 guys would kill me on the spot if I tried. I sighed.

"Well, well. If it isn't the spunky Katniss Everdeen." Said the guy from interrogation. I glared at him. "This is what happens when you mess with the law."

"I told you I don't know anything." I muttered. I tried to move one of my legs again and I bit down on my lip to stop myself from crying out in pain.

Another man from the five guys spoke, "what you are doing isn't clever Miss Everdeen. The longer that you withhold important information from us will make you suffer even more."

"I told you everything i know. I know nothing about that rebel plan. I didn't even know it existed until I was told about it in interrogation." I said.

"Well you just keep telling yourself that." Said the man again. "And we will just keep hurting you. It's simple."

"Oh please." I snarled. "It's not like you wouldn't hurt me anyway whether I knew anything or not. That's what you have been doing to me and whole populations of districts for so many years."

I yelled as the guy slapped me across the face hard. I fell to the floor.

"You should keep that tongue of yours to yourself Miss Everdeen." The man said and then he spat at me. "It won't do you any favours here."

As i touched my messed up face with a shaking hand to check for anymore damage, i'm pretty sure that I have gained yet another bruise, I noticed my pearl on the floor next to me.

It must have found its way out of my pocket when I fell. I put my hand out very slowly to grab it when one of the other men who hadn't said anything to me yet picked it up.

My whole body froze.

"Did you drop something?" The man asked, holding the shiny and beautiful pearl up right in front of me. But not so close to me that i could touch it.

"Y-yes." I stuttered. "That's mine."

The man looked at it. "It's a rather lovely gift, don't you think? Well it must have been a gift. I mean why else would you have it with you?"

I looked up at him. "Yes. It was a gift."

The man continued to study the pearl. "It must be very important to you then."

"It is." I replied. Inside I felt like I was about to explode. He shouldn't be allowed to look at that pearl. He shouldn't be allowed to touch that pearl. He shouldn't be allowed to talk to me about that pearl. That pearl was my life. That pearl was everything i held dear. That pearl was the only thing I had left which meant a great deal to me. If i didn't have that pearl, i wouldn't survive. That pearl reminded me of Peeta. It was the only thing i had left of him.

Of course i didn't tell him all of this because the thing is, he already knew.

"So important that you would do almost anything to have it back in your care?" The man asked.

"What are you suggesting?" My voice almost came out in a whisper. I needed it away from him. Away from his filthy Capitol scum hands.

"What I'm suggesting is: you tell me every single thing you know, every single detail, about the rebel plan or this pearl that means so much to you might have to be...dealt with."

"No." My voice was meant to sound threatening but it came out as a choke, a sob._ "No."_

"Yes." The man simply replied, "see this is how we do things in the Capitol, we cause pain. We cause pain to other people so they can comply. It's a shame you aren't a quick learner because then you wouldn't be in this situation. But you can have your precious pearl back when you tell me all that you know, deal?"

He looked down at me holding that damned pearl and I completely lost it.

I couldn't give him what he wanted because I didn't know.

That pearl, my baby, my only memory of Peeta. Gone. Just like that.

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, building and building. They soon turned into sobs. Big, loud, hysterical sobs.

"Well Miss Everdeen, if you won't tell me anything then something might have to happen to this pearl." Said the man. I was shaking on the floor as he walked over to the table full of torture instruments and pulled out a long, black hammer.

I was still shaking and sobbing as he put the pearl on the ground.

"Stop it! Stop it!" I screamed but it was stupid because he obviously wasn't going to listen to me. He didn't care. He didn't have a nice enough bone in his body to care enough about a mentally unstable seventeen year old girl who needed the help and comfort of a pearl to get through the day. He didn't understand. He was just following orders.

And that's when I heard it smash.

I cried out like someone had just pulled my heart out of my body and ripped it to pieces right in front of me. Gone. Gone. It was all gone.

"Peeta!" I screamed his name because it felt like that man had just destroyed him. "Peeta! Peeta! Peeta!"

"Shut up, stupid girl." One of the other men said and he began to kick me. The others joined in too but the pain of this didn't hurt nearly as much as the loss of the pearl. I covered my eyes and continued screaming his name.

_Peeta. _


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Eventually, I got dragged back to my cell. Well lifted because I can't walk very well.

I felt empty. Completely empty. I had nothing to live for now. Nothing to keep me going.

I felt like Peeta was slipping away from me. No. I can't let that happen I can't-

"Holy shit!" I was interrupted from my thoughts when I suddenly heard a voice exclaim that really loudly next to me. Johanna.

"Are you okay?" She asked, I turned round to face her when I realised she was talking to me.

I shrugged, trying to remain calm. "I guess I'll pull through."

She touched my face with her finger, where one of my bruises was, I flinched.

"That's pretty rough." She replied. "You look like you have been through hell."

"I guess I have." I said quietly, looking down and not at her.

Even though me and Johanna were sort of friends now, I didn't want to tell her what happened. It was too personal.

But Johanna had other ideas. "Katniss, there's something on your mind. I want to know what it is."

I looked up at her with my good eye and shook my head. "It's nothing. Interrogation just got a little messy, that's all."

She still wouldn't let it go. God that girl was so stubborn. "Katniss. What the hell happened in there?"

I suddenly couldn't hold the pain and sadness and loss and anger I was keeping bottled up inside any longer and before I knew it, I began to cry again.

I told her everything. About interrogation and how they beat me up and how I knew nothing about this rebel plan and finally about the pearl. She held me in her arms as I cried my heart out in front of her, no longer caring about anything anymore.

"It's okay Katniss, it's okay." She kept saying as I cried over her shoulder, getting big wet patches all over the one shirt she had on which she still owned. "Just let it all out."

She made eye contact with the guard and yelled at him to get some tissues. He just told her that he didn't help prisoners.

"Oh fuck you." Johanna said. He had no reaction.

"I actually already did, in front of five big Capitol guys earlier." I said when I had calmed down and laughed a little, but it came out like a choked hiccup. "God. I'm such a coward."

"You're not a coward Katniss." Johanna said, she pulled me back from her shoulders slowly but still held my arms. "No one survives through the Capitol's tortures. I bet I won't either."

"I bet you will." I muttered and then managed to stand up a little bit straighter. "Why are you being so nice to me Johanna? I thought you hated me?"

"I didn't _hate_ you, I just didn't like you very much." replied Johanna and she smiled. I smiled too. "I guess I was jealous of you. What you have with Peeta. I used to have that but it got taken away from me very cruelly." She looked sad for a moment and I felt the urge to hug her. "I also don't trust people very easily. When I get attached to someone, they never seem to stick around for very long."

"Well we don't really have a choice, I have to stick with you." I said and I felt myself smiling. I decided that I liked Johanna. A lot.

"Yep you do." Johanna looked over at Annie in the other cell on the right from me, she seemed to be oddly calm for once. "And Annie too. We all have to stick together here. I wouldn't wish this life for my worst enemy in my hometown. We all have one common enemy and it's President Snow."

I nodded. Suddenly Annie came over to us.

"Hello Katniss. Are you okay now?" She asked so sweetly.

"Yes. Well as okay as I will ever be." I replied. I went to reach into my pocket for my pearl only to then realise it was gone. I felt a pang of loneliness and heartbreak wash over me again.

"Maybe he will buy you a brand new one. An even shiner one." Said Johanna.

"I won't see him again." I said sadly. "I know I won't."

There was an awkward silence. Annie spoke up.

"I really miss Finnick you know. Everyday."

"I know how you feel Annie." I sighed. I have never missed Peeta more than I do now. His smile. His laugh. His unconditional love for me even though I failed him time and time again. I need to tell him that I'm sorry. I need to hug him. I just need to see his adorable face. Maybe I won't ever again. That is what kills me.

"When I used to feel myself going crazy, i used to find Finnick and he would hold me until I would feel better again." Annie said. "Now he can't do that."

"When I used to wake up from nightmares on the victory tour train, he always used to be there for me." I found myself saying. "It was the middle of the night and he would run in to see if I was okay. The first time it happened I asked if he could stay with me. He sat on my bed and I rested on his stomach. He then replied with always."

"Oh my god that's so romantic." Annie whispered sadly. Johanna was oddly distant. Maybe she was thinking about what she used to have before the Capitol destroyed it.

"Katniss." She said after what seemed like a long time. "I know about the rebel plan."

I didn't know what to say. "They went to you first thinking that you would know because you were meant to be the Mockingjay."

"I was meant to be the what?" My brain suddenly snapped into focus. I did want to know what this rebel plan was. They were pretty much done with me anyway.

"When you went into the quarter quell, all the other victors apart from Peeta and you knew about a plan." Johanna explained, keeping her voice low so the guards wouldn't hear. "The plan was to get you out of the arena so you could go to District 13 and be the Mockingjay. To fight for our people."

"District 13 exists?" I whispered. She nodded.

"Uh-huh. Me and Finnick were assigned with a very important job. To keep you alive. Beetee was in on it as well so he helped. We had to keep Peeta alive too or you would never have stayed with us in the arena."

"So that's why you were our allies? Was Haymitch in on this as well?"

Johanna nodded. "Pretty much everyone was. But we couldn't tell you two with Snow watching, it was too risky. Well our plan pretty much failed now. Unless Peeta is out there in District 13 filling in your role."

Peeta being the Mockingjay. I liked that idea. In fact, I loved that idea.

It would be perfect for him. He could always do wonderful things with words. He would help the people of Panem in anyway he could with his loving, kind soul. I suddenly felt this overwhelming feeling of pride for him.

"Peeta. The Mockingjay." I whispered, wanting to see how it sounds.

We suddenly heard the same footsteps that came for me come closer and closer to our cells. We all knew what it was before we saw the man. He stopped this time at Johanna's cell.

"Johanna Mason. You are wanted for interrogation."

"Shit." Johanna muttered. Me and Annie both looked worried as she stood up and made her way out of her cell.

"Don't worry, I will tell them everything." She said. And she was gone before I could tell her not to.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Johanna didn't come back later that day.

She didn't come back the next day either.

Me and Annie began to get worried about her, what if they did something so much worse to her than they did to me because she told them everything?

I should have warned her sooner but by the time I did, it was too late.

My stomach suddenly began to growl as I sat in the corner of my cell and I groaned. My stomach used to do this occasionally and now it does this all the time because I haven't eaten anything in so long. I wonder if this is their plan. Making us waste away until there is nothing left of us but skin and bone as a form of punishment. I could feel myself wasting away already, the person I once was slowly fading away bit by bit, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second. I wonder if a Capitol official would come in one day and see a skeleton which once was me or Annie in one of our two cells and shrug like they expected it to happen. Like Snow wanted this to happen. That cruel, cruel man.

They did let us sleep for a few hours but only because Annie was wailing so high pitched and so loud that the guard on duty had enough and ordered us to sleep so he could get some peace. I had so many dreams about Peeta and when I woke up I felt like I couldn't breathe. The fact I will most likely never see him again is such a horrible feeling and it makes me want to break down in tears.

"Where do you think Johanna is?" Annie asked that day for probably the 100th time.

"I don't know." I replied. I looked out of my cell as if I somehow expected Johanna to walk towards us flaunting her I really don't care attitude which I have grown to love. It was stupid because she wasn't going to appear now. No matter how much we wanted and needed her to.

"I hope they haven't hurt her." Whispered Annie, "if she sacrificed herself to save us, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"She'll be fine, I'm sure of it." I reassured her. That was a lie because now I wasn't sure of it.

The Capitol could do anything they wanted to. Even to Johanna. We were simply just pieces in their never ending games.

Peeta. My brain went back in time for a moment and remembered the night just before the 74th Hunger Games, when me and Peeta were sitting on the training centre balcony overlooking the Capitol city. I even remember the cool summer air on my face from that night. I remember sitting across from Peeta, sweet, innocent, adorable, kind, caring Peeta, as he said that line.

_"I keep wishing I could think of a way to show the Capitol that they don't own me. That I am more than just a piece in their games. If i'm gonna die, I wanna still be me."_

I saw a glimpse of his face in my memory just before my mind snapped back to reality. This line seemed to stick with me somehow, it was like he was trying to tell me something that day. Something important. I didn't know what he meant back then but i am beginning to understand. I still don't really understand though.

Me and Annie sat almost together in silence for an hour. Then another hour. And another.

It was beginning to feel like this day was never going to end, I didn't even know what day it was anymore.

I was about to see if I could have some sleep without the guard noticing when I heard footsteps coming down and then towards our cells. I automatically went over to see if it was Johanna, finally back from her time in interrogation. Instead I was greeted by yet another Capitol official.

"God." I thought to myself. "How many Capitol officials are there in this place?"

"Miss Everdeen. You are to have something to eat and take a bath. President Snow wants you to be broadcasted live on television." The man said and then exactly like the man who called me for interrogation, he left before I could ask anything.

It took me a while to process this information. President Snow wants me broadcasted live on television? For what reason exactly?

Annie looked just as confused as me when the guard came over to unlock my cell and then he led me out of the room (my leg was getting better so I could slightly walk at least)

I thought it would take us forever to get to this place because of all the different corridors and stairs but the guard led me to almost empty room which was directly beside the one with the cells. It had a small bath with running hot water and a white puffy dress laid out beside it. There was also a small but reasonable sized loaf of bread sitting in the corner with a note.

I felt a pang in my chest when I saw it. Peeta.

"What is this?" I asked the guard and he just told me to wash, eat, get dressed and then wait until he came back with further instructions.

So I washed, slipping into a nice warm bath and fiercely scrubbing at every part in my body because I haven't had a wash in so long. I dressed into the white puffy dress that was waiting for me, it was very pretty and was basically the white version of what I wore to my interview after the 74th Hunger Games but looked slightly more grown up as it made my curves stick out a little until it got to the actual puffy part. They had also left a small brush which I used to comb my hair. Combing out all the constant tugs until it looked almost as good as new. Pre Capitol captured hair.

I looked behind the door and noticed that there was also a large mirror hiding behind it. I checked my appearance and saw a nice looking but very nervous girl with a healing black eye which didn't look as obvious now staring back at me. Good. That will do.

I wondered what they would do about the bruises. I'm sure Snow wouldn't allow people to see me like that. Maybe they were going to edit it out somehow on camera.

The pang in my chest returned again when I saw the loaf of bread staring at me from across the room. I felt my heart starting to beat frantically.

"Calm down Katniss, it's only a loaf of bread." I said to myself, "it's not going to kill you. It might even make you feel better as you haven't eaten in so long."

I went over to it and my heart started to beat louder. I picked up the note next to it and started to read:

Peeta will be listening to you on the broadcast. You can talk to him. You can also see him.

After the short break, Caesar Flickerman will be there to ask you questions.

You must memorise and answer the questions exactly as written on the back.

If you do not, there will be serious consequences.

I then turned the note over and saw answers to these questions that they were talking about. It was bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit.

"What makes them think I will say this?" I thought. I then remembered the part about serious consequences and I suddenly became worried. I can't say what it says on the back of that note though. They have to fight. They have every right to fight. I will refuse.

My heart then started racing again. Peeta. I will get to see Peeta. The boy I love and who I thought I would never see again. I get to see his face. I get to hear his voice. I will get to talk to him. I felt almost giddy with joy and it was ridiculous.

I suddenly heard a knock on the door and opened it. It was the guard.

"Miss Everdeen, come with me." He said. I then followed him up so many stairs and corridors as I thought of what I could say to Peeta. What was there to say to Peeta? My head was swarming with so many things to say but I wondered if I could actually get them out once I finally see him. What if my mind just goes blank and we stare at each other. It felt like I hadn't seen him in so long, I haven't seen him in what feels like years.

When we finally arrived at our second destination, I opened the door slowly and I saw a cozy little green room with a fireplace. There were two fancy chairs that were sitting across from each other, one for me and one for Caesar. There was also a camera behind Caesar's chair which was positioned so it faced me. I began to shake nervously.

I felt awkward being in here myself. The guard had left me as soon as I had went inside and I assumed Caesar wouldn't come in until later on in the programme. It almost felt eerie, planned. Probably because it was.

I slowly walked over to my chair and then sat down. I smoothed the puffy part from my dress down and faced the camera.

I waited for something to happen.

I waited.

I waited some more.

I felt like getting up to leave, maybe this was a sick joke. Maybe they wouldn't let me see Peeta after all and it was the questions later. It was so stupid getting my hopes up.

I suddenly saw something flickering in the corner of my eye. I turned round as I saw the camera starting to form a picture. Slowly I began to notice parts of what looked like a dining room. Big long tables were set out with people sitting at them, eating dinner, or lunch, or whatever they eat at whatever time of day this is.

And then I saw him. He was sitting at one of these tables. Next to someone which i also recognised. Gale.

"Oh my god..." I whispered. "Oh my god. It's him. It's really him."

"Katniss?" I heard his voice. His smooth, calming voice. "Katniss? Is that you?"

He didn't care about all the other people in the dining room once he saw me. I didn't care about them either.

"Peeta! Peeta! I'm okay! I'm alive!" I exclaimed.

"They told me you were, I thought you were..." Peeta's voice began to trail off as tears began to form in his eyes.

"You thought I was what?" I asked quietly, although i already knew the answer.

"I-I thought you were dead." he said, his voice wobbling. Tears were now rolling down his cheeks.

Tears were beginning to roll down my cheeks too. "I'm not Peeta! I'm not! I'm alive!"

"You are." Peeta ran up to my screen and touched it with his hand. "You are alive."

"I'm alive." I repeated as I walked up slowly from my seat and touched the camera screen with my hand. It was like our hands were touching but from a distance, from what felt like a hundred miles away.

"Katniss." He said after a moment as we were still touching hands. "There's something-there's something I need to tell you." His voice was wobbly again.

"What, what is it? Tell me! Tell me so I can hear your voice!" I sounded hysterically happy. I was just so glad to finally hear and see him again.

"Katniss." He began, I interrupted as I remembered I had a question for him.

"Are Prim and mom save? In Twelve?" I asked. He didn't reply.

My stomach suddenly felt nauseous and all the sudden happiness that I was feeling faded away.

"What's wrong? are they okay?" There was a worried tone in my voice.

"They are fine but District Twelve." Peeta sounded like he was about to cry again.

"What do you mean District Twelve? What's happened to District Twelve?" I asked. I knew there was something wrong. The way he was acting told me that something was terribly wrong.

"Katniss. There is no District Twelve."

And that was when I ran out of the room to throw up.

District 12. All gone. Because of me. Because I send that arrow flying into the forcefield. People dead. Because of me. Homes destroyed. Because of me. Families torn apart. Because of me.

I could hear Peeta's voice still ringing in my ears as I leaned over and threw up what I had ate of that loaf of bread. The world was spinning as I stood up and so was I. It was all my fault. Everything was my fault.

The world was still spinning as I locked myself in another room, I didn't even know what room, to cry over the loss of District 12.

But no tears came out and instead I felt like I was about to faint. I clutched the doorknob for support but it didn't help as I felt myself falling to the ground.

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. My home is District Twelve. There is no District Twelve. I destroyed District Twelve. I'm the reason there is no-_

I suddenly heard a voice at the other side of the door.

"Miss Everdeen, are you ready for the questions?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed, curling up into a ball, unable to tell what was reality and what was not as my world was still turning in circles around me, "DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS!"

"Miss Everdeen." The voice sighed. "I'm afraid you don't have a choice."

I nearly threw up again, I began to sob and I was struggling to speak. "N-no. I can't. No."

"Miss Everdeen. You need to go back. The whole world is waiting for you."

"I don't care about the whole world. I destroyed my own one." I whispered.

I knew that I did have to go back out there, no matter how broken I felt.

The whole world was watching me. Peeta was watching me. I didn't have a choice. I had to go back.

I tried to steady myself the best I could.

"You can do this Katniss." I said to myself, I didn't even care if the voice on the other side of the door could hear me. "You have to do this, for Peeta. Peeta wouldn't want you to act like this. Come on."

And by some miracle, I felt myself getting up. The world stopped spinning in effortless circles.

I opened the door and I faced the guard.

"I'm ready."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

When I walked back into the green room where I was being filmed, Caesar Flickerman was sitting on his chair. He still had his purple hair and he was wearing a brown and green checkered shirt with shiny black boots. He stood up as soon as he saw me and put out his hand. I shook it.

"Hello Katniss. Long time no see eh? I haven't seen you since the Quarter Quell but you still look as wonderful as ever." Caesar Flickerman sounded pretty much the same off camera as he did on camera. Bold, outgoing and a little crazy.

"As do you Caesar." I replied with a little grin, trying to sound the way I did during the Quarter Quell interview, only about a day before my life fell apart even more.

"You have the answers for the questions I am going to ask you in your hand, yes?" He asked me and I nodded.

"Now Katniss." He said, looking really serious and right into my eyes. I must have looked nervous because he took my hand gently. "All you have to do is answer those questions and no harm will come to you or the other victors."

I froze. I began to feel goosebumps forming up and down my arms. The other victors. Johanna.

"What do you mean the other victors? Where are they?" I asked anxiously, Caesar held my hand tighter and said. "Don't worry Katniss, it will all be fine. All is well."

I let go of his hand sharply and he frowned. "What are you hiding from me? What is it?"

I could tell that he didn't want me to see something. He was trying to save me. I didn't want to be saved.

"Katniss-" Caesar began but I interrupted him.

"What's happening? WHAT IS HAPPENING?" I sounded panicked as my shoulders began to shake.

"Katniss, calm down." Caesar tried again but everything suddenly clicked. The answers to the questions. Serious consequences.

They were going to kill someone if I didn't do what they said.

I have had a lot of bad days but this one is quite possibly the worst one of my entire life.

I heard the Capitol TV theme song starting to play quietly in the distance and I knew that it was starting.

I sat down in the chair and my knees started to shake uncontrollably. If I didn't reply to those questions with these answers, someone would pay the price.

If I thought realising what was going to happen was bad enough, the next thing which happened in that moment was even worse.

The door swung open and in came two Capitol officials, with two other victors.

Johanna and Annie.

Both of them had guns aimed at the backs of their heads.

The horror I felt in that moment was unbelievable.

Johanna had her hair completely shaven off. She was bald. She didn't even look like Johanna anymore. She had two massive bruises on both sides of her cheeks and she had a long tube which connected to the side of her left ear and finished at the side of her right ear. The change in her from the last time I saw her which was only a couple of days ago was absolutely horrifying.

"Oh my god. Johanna. What have they done to you?" I whispered. I could have saved her that day and now her life was put on risk again. Because of me.

Johanna ignored my question. "Please Katniss. Don't do what they say." She pleaded. "Just let me die."

"Johanna, you know I would never allow them to do that." My voice was still a whisper. I couldn't let them hurt her, no matter what.

She and Annie had been there for me when I needed someone most. Johanna was the shoulder I cried on after that awful time in interrogation. Johanna was the one who I thought hated me at first when she was just jealous of me and Peeta. Johanna was the one who told me to make Snow pay for it when I went into the Quarter Quell interview with that wedding dress on. Johanna was the one who took nobody's shit no matter what. Johanna was the one who had nobody left that she loved.

That's not true. Because I love her.

I don't care what she said. I won't let her die. I can't.

And Annie too. Annie is so sweet and lovely and just wants to get back to Finnick. I won't let her die either.

So that's why when I sat down and the camera clicked on and I knew that everyone in the whole of Panem would be watching me this very second, I had to do exactly what they said.

Caesar lay back on his chair and smiled at me. "So...Katniss. Welcome back."

"Hello Caesar." I said and I smiled back. I looked at the camera. I wonder if Peeta could see me right now. He probably could.

"Well I must confess, I thought that the night before the Quarter Quell we would never see you again." Caesar said.

"It wasn't part of my plan, that's for sure." I replied. That was true.

Caesar leans into me a little and I feel my knees beginning to shake again. I knew they were there. Johanna and Annie. Even if they were now hidden from the camera so that the audience couldn't see them. Both of them an inch away from death.

"I think it was clear to all of us what your plan was. To let the others sacrifice themselves in the arena so that you and your child could survive." Caesar said carefully.

I chose what to say carefully too. "Not necessary. I mean I wanted to keep Peeta alive more than myself."

Caesar furrowed his eyebrows together. "But you knew right? That you would live anyway?"

I shrugged. "In the arena, anything is possible."

Caesar was quiet for a moment, wanting to let me continue.

I tried not to imagine a bullet going through the back of Johanna's head.

"Once your in the arena, the rest of the world becomes very distant." I explained. "All the people and things you loved and cared about don't seem to exist anymore. The pink sky and the monsters in the jungle and the tributes who want your blood becomes the only thing that you have ever known." I've never talked about being in the arena before and everyone in the whole nation must be listening to me now because no one has ever talked about what it's like being in the arena before. "You make friends and then they get killed but there's nothing you can do about it. You have nothing left to live for except the animal need to survive."

Caesar nodded as if he understood when he didn't. From the corner of my eye I swore that I could see Johanna nodding too.

"So Katniss." Caesar looked up at me again as I sat there. "How exactly did you and Peeta get separated in the arena?"

As soon as he said Peeta, the camera started flickering and suddenly I could see the dining hall again. Peeta and all the other people were sitting listening to me.

I felt like screaming when I saw his face but I ignored that urge. I needed to concentrate.

"Beetee had a plan to electrify the salt lake with his coil of wire. This was so the other tributes who weren't in our alliance would automatically be electrocuted if they came to find us. We all went along with this plan. Beetee told me and Johanna to go with the coil while Peeta stayed as a guard. I should have stayed with him. I should have never let them separate us!" I shouted that last line as I felt tears starting to prickle in my eyes, feeling so many emotions at once.

"Katniss. I was going to ask you what you thought about the war but it seems as though you are too upset." Said Caesar.

I was too upset. And terrified. But i knew I had to keep going.

"No i'm fine." I said, calming myself down again as best I could. Well, as calm as you can be when two people's lifes are hanging on the line.

"Okay." Caesar said. He looked at the hand holding the note which had the answers inside. He wanted me to say them.

I took a long shaky breath. What the answers were weren't what I really thought. The answers weren't what you would think I would say. With any luck, everyone would ignore me because i'm in the Capitol so my 'opinion' would be easy to forget, even though I am Katniss Everdeen.

If I didn't say these answers, I would watch the two people I cared about the most in here die right in front of me. I would watch as they were taken away from me. Without even giving me a proper goodbye. I would forever have the burden of their deaths hanging over me. Haunting me. As if the whole burden of a District wasn't enough.

I saw Peeta on the other side of the camera, he was watching me closely, hanging on my every word. Beside him was Gale, my heart stopped when I saw my mom and Prim. Prim looked so broken. At other table I saw Finnick. He looked so different now, nothing like the cocky young man I met at the Quarter Quell. He looked like the soul had been sucked right

out of him.

They were all watching me. Waiting to hear me speak.

Every single person.

I was wrong. My opinion would count.

I took a deep breath in and out. In and out.

"Don't do it." I heard Johanna whisper. "Don't say those words."

I took another deep breath. This time you could hear it as I exhaled.

My heart was beating fast. So fast.

"Katniss." I heard Caesar's voice only faintly. My breathing was louder than him. "Do you have anything to say about the war which is about to break out?"

This was it. I looked straight at the camera.

"I want everyone watching, whether you're on the Capitol or the rebel side, to stop just for a moment and think about what this war could mean. For human beings. We almost went extinct fighting one another. Now our numbers are even fewer. Is this really what we want to do? Kill ourselves off completely?"

I could feel the eyes of the people in that dining hall on me.

"If everybody doesn't lay down their weapons, it's all over anyway."

"So, you are calling for a cease-fire?" Caesar asked, he said it like he had been waiting his entire life to ask this one question.

Johanna shook her head at me again. She didn't understand. I was trying to save her.

"Yes. I'm calling for a cease-fire."

I felt myself relaxing as I heard the Capitol officials moving the guns away from Johanna and Annie. It was over. I saved them.

But apparently, I couldn't save everyone.

The faces in that dining room now looked angry. They looked at me in anger and confusion.

My stomach began to tense up again.

I saw Peeta there. He was trying to calm the people down as they began to react. I heard him telling them those weren't my words. He knew me. I wouldn't say that.

"Traitor!" Someone yelled from the dining room. Someone else joined in and soon the whole dining room apart from the people who knew me started shouting.

"Traitor!" "Traitor!" "Traitor!"

That word felt like a stab in the back. As it continued I could feel hot tears on my cheeks and sliding down my face as I stood there in shock. They were calling me a traitor. They thought I had betrayed them. Maybe I have.

I screamed unable to take it anymore and threw something hard at the camera screen. It shattered into a million pieces. I sat there with my head in my hands covering my ears but I could still hear their accusing voices shouting over and over again in my head. They wouldn't stop.

I could only form one clear thought. What have I done?


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was too much to handle in one day. Seeing Peeta. Finding out about District Twelve. Being called a traitor by the citizens of Panem.

As soon as I got back to my cell, I curled into a ball and slept. The guard saw me drifting off but didn't seem to care. I just wanted a break from reality.

When I woke up about I don't know how many hours later, probably quite a lot, I rubbed my eyes and I looked up slowly to find Johanna standing over me. She didn't look happy at all.

"How could you say those things?" She yelled, loud enough for the guard at the door to hear. "How could you just sit there and say those things?"

"Johanna. I was trying to save you. I was trying to stop you and Annie from getting killed. What did you want me to do? Let you both die?" I was yelling now too. I just saved her life and she was angry at me? It doesn't seem very fair.

"You should have let me die! You should have said what you damn well thought!" Johanna shouted.

I stood up. "I don't know what I think! I don't even know what's happening outside the Capitol! Not properly anyway. All I know is that there was a plan to get me out so I could go to Thirteen. How could I make a decision on a war just from that?"

Johanna walked over to the bars of my cell slowly. I could feel the tension. I clenched my fists.

"You should have let me die."

Then I felt her shove me, hard. She backed away as soon as it happened and we both looked at each other. Shocked.

Johanna suddenly looked sad. "I'm sorry Katniss. I'm sorry for being such a bitch."

She came over and hugged me through the bars. I returned the hug.

"It's okay Johanna." I muttered. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry. I really am." Johanna suddenly began to cry. Like seriously cry.

"I knew you were trying to save us. I just thought, I just hoped that-"

"You just hoped that what?" I asked her gently as she cleaned up her face after her 10 second sob.

"I just hoped that you would tell the Districts to fight. I just hoped they would then come and save you so you could help to stop the Capitol. I'm so stupid. I'm so fucking stupid! We will never win. The Capitol always win." Johanna suddenly stopped and sat very still. I could feel her giving up. I didn't want her to give up. But I didn't know what else to say.

I put my arm around her and we sat there in silence.

_One week later_

I didn't see Johanna again for a while after that. Or Annie either.

They separated us. They put Johanna in another room with cells in another corridor and Annie somewhere else.

I didn't have time to see them again anyway. I was too busy being starved and beaten up.

Everyday was the same, I would wait there being so hopelessly hungry. I didn't eat much when I arrived but now I haven't eaten in so long I could pretty much eat anything at this point. The bars to my cell. My clothes. Myself. Anything.

I was used to being hungry all the time, I did live in District Twelve after all. But never like this. At this point I was so hungry that my stomach would hurt when it growled and it would be unbearable.

I was so tired too, _so_ tired. My eyes were constantly drooping and it took a considerable amount of effort just to keep them open. The last time I slept was probably just before Johanna confronted me. That felt like so long ago. Before this began.

I waited until I saw two Capitol officials walking through the door, I waited until they got to my cell.

I closed my eyes and cried out in pain as they dragged me out of my cell by the scruff of my neck and started to beat me up.

They did this everyday, for hours.

At first I thought of Peeta to keep me going. To not give up. To not give in to their tormenting.

Peeta would hug me and tell me that everything was going to be okay.

I whispered his name as they continued to kick my body, like I was worthless.

I then thought of Johanna to keep me going. To not give up. To not give in to their tormenting. Johanna would tell me to keep fighting. To not let them win.

I whispered her name as they continued to kick my body, like I wasn't even a person.

I then thought of Prim to keep me going. To not give up. To not give in to their tormenting.

Prim would want me to be strong. To be the big sister who protected her like I did that day at the reaping.

I whispered her name as they continued to kick my body, like i was nothing.

I continued to do this with different people. Gale, Finnick, even Annie, to stop them getting to me. To stop myself from giving up completely.

When I got to the last person one day, I felt myself giving up. Losing myself. Losing to the Captiol. My body was limp, hanging by a thread. I must be so thin now. I must look like Johanna when I did the broadcast.

One day during this time my guard took me down to the green room with the fireplace. For another broadcast.

They managed to use makeup to cover up some of my bruises, but not many. They made me put on a puffy black dress. I struggled to get it on because of how weak and tired I was.

You could still see some of them. New ones from when they started doing this to me.

You could probably see how thin I had gotten on camera as well.

Caesar was sitting on the chair opposite me again, you could tell he looked concerned but he knew he had a job to do. "Katniss Everdeen, it's lovely to see you again. I just have one question for you this time. What do you think of the rumours that Peeta Mellark is taping propos for the Districts?"

I thought for a moment but I knew not to give my own opinion. They would hurt me even more if I did that. I knew they wouldn't just kill me. They were wanting to make me suffer.

You could hear my voice shaking as I spoke with a new note in my hand. "They are using him to whip up the rebels. I doubt he really knows what's going on in the war. What's at stake."

Caesar looked thoughtful for a minute. Suddenly the camera flickered again and there was Peeta. This time he was alone in the dining hall. His face was one of shock and disbelief.

I could feel my heart breaking. He noticed the change in me.

Even worse, I could hear him.

"What are they doing to you?" I heard him whisper as he took in my appearance.

If only he knew how they were treating me now, if only he could save me.

"Is there anything you would like to tell him?" Caesar asked quietly.

We looked at each other then. Just me and Peeta. He looked so worried and concerned for me but there was nothing he could do. He knew this too and this thought was breaking us both.

"Yes. Yes there is." I said after a moment. I looked right into the camera. At him.

"Don't be a fool Peeta. Think for yourself. They have turned you into a weapon that could be instrumental for the destruction of humanity. Do you trust the people you are working with? Just stop and think." That was what they told me to say. All I could say.

I could feel him still looking at me as I was walking out of that room, thinking of how the Capitol officials could be waiting by my cell to start hurting me again. I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Peeta. I'm so sorry." I whispered. "I'm sorry for everything."


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys. Before we go onto the next chapter I would just like to say a big thank you to all of you who follow and fave this story. I haven't written anything in about two years so I thought it wasn't going to go anywhere but I was surprised and even shocked by how successful this story has gotten as I originally thought it would get like one review at the most. I always try my best with this story because I love writing it as well as you all love reading it.

As you may have noticed I am posting one chapter per night because I find that if I take a break, I completely forget where I am going with it (that's why chapter 5 might have been a little sloppy in parts i'm sorry) Don't worry you will be able to catch up soon I hope.

Also chapter 7 was kind of starting the build up to the big climax which you all probably know is Katniss getting hijacked. I'm taking it slowly and I'm honestly scared to write it myself it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Okay I'll stop talking now and continue with the story.

Chapter 8

And so it went on. The beating, not sleeping, not eating. Feeling weak, feeling hungry, feeling exhausted. It was impossible to think of anything else apart from using all my remaining energy to survive but then to only to be faced with more beatings and horrors alike.

I felt as though this was it. This is how my life would end. This is how I would spend my last remaining days on this earth.

It was like a game to the Capitol. Everything is like a game to the Capitol. You never really win the games. You just enter a new one and hope for the best.

It must have been the third day after the second broadcast which was the last time I saw Peeta. I was sitting waiting in my cell as per usual, before the Capitol officials would come and it would all begin again. I couldn't escape when they let me out. I couldn't try to run from them. If I did they would catch me or send me to someone worse. Someone like Snow.

I heard their familiar footsteps echoing through the room and I braced myself for what I knew was coming. I began to shake and my breathing became more intense as they got nearer to my cell.

It wasn't the Capitol officials. It was Johanna.

"Johanna what the fu-" I started to say but she interrupted me.

"Sssh don't ask questions my guard doesn't know I'm here. I need to show you something." She simply said, pulling at my arm through the bars.

How did Johanna manage to get out of her cell herself? I wanted to know but she seemed to urgently need me to go somewhere with her.

"I said to your guard that you were needed for another broadcast, it will only take a minute." Johanna explained.

I found myself smiling, Johanna was a clever one.

So my guard let me out and Johanna and I walked out of the room.

"Where are we going?" I asked as she pulled me along a corridor that I have never been down before. I looked in these rooms and I saw big screens, they seemed to be showing different districts. I saw District One on the big screen in one room, District Two on another and so on. We finally stopped at a room which looked a lot bigger than the other ones. The screen was massive.

Johanna led me inside.

And that's when I saw it.

Peeta Mellark, standing in a pile of ashes and rubble.

"What is this?" I breathed.

The camera zoomed out and I saw the outlines of buildings.

I couldn't believe it.

"Oh my god Johanna it's...it's District Twelve." I covered my mouth in shock and to stop myself from crying hysterically as I walked him walking slowly through all the mess. The camera zoomed up so you could see some dead bodies lying in the ashes. Out the corner of my eye I could see a skull right under where Peeta's foot once was as he walked.

This was too much. This was way too much.

"Johanna. I can't watch this anymore. I need to go." I said and I began to leave when she caught me by the arm again.

"Katniss. I need you to see this. Please." Johanna said gently so I stayed put.

Peeta continued to walk through the rubble and he came across to where his bakery was.

He suddenly stopped and seemed unable to move again.

"Peeta...oh my god Peeta." I whispered as I took in the horror on his face when he looked up and saw the remains of what looked like his brother right outside his door. He sunk down to his knees.

I began to cry at seeing him in such pain. His bakery. His whole family. Our District. Destroyed. At the hands of one man.

There was an eerie kind of music playing in the background. Peeta then looked at the camera with such despair and loss in his eyes that I wanted to reach into the screen to hug him and never let him go.

The screen went black and the footage stopped.

Me and Johanna were silent for a few seconds. She then turned round and looked at me.

"Do you see what they have done? The Capitol? Destroyed an entire district and hundreds of people because of what? Because people are fighting back. Doesn't that make you angry Katniss? Doesn't that make you WANT to fight back?" Johanna asked, she sounded angry herself.

It did. It really did.

It made want to send an arrow straight through President Snow's heart.

"We need to show them that they don't own us." Johanna said determinedly. I felt myself nodding. "I hope this makes you realise we need to do something."

We then went back to my cell and Johanna nodded at my guard. Just before she left she mouthed something but I couldn't hear her.

I didn't even have time to think about what I just saw when I heard the familiar footsteps and I knew exactly who it was now.

I braced myself again but I somehow didn't feel as afraid anymore. I remembered what Johanna said.

"We need to show them that they don't own us."

She was right. They don't own us. They don't have the right to treat us like this. They never have. Maybe we should fight back. The whole nation of Districts against the Capitol. They have been treating us badly for way too long now. It's time that someone stood up to them.

Of course I didn't tell the Capitol officials this as they dragged me out of my cell by the scruff of my neck once again and started to beat me up but I thought it as they kicked my body.

This thought was like a fire coursing through me. Waking me up again. Giving me new hope. A spark had ignited when I had just given up. Part of my old courageous self was starting to emerge again.

When they started to tell me things about how i'm worthless and how people like me were nothing. When I could taste the blood on my cheek and feel the pain of old and fresh bruises on my hands, I said something to them.

"Nothing hits harder than life. It's not about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. That's how we are going to beat you all."

The Capitol officials both looked surprised and a little confused. No one had stood up to them before. Not like that.

"We better keep an eye on this one. We don't want her to get too big for her boots." I heard one of them mutter.

"Don't worry about it. She can't do any harm outside of here anyway." The other one said.

I thought of Peeta and the bakery as they made me sit back down with force and they started hitting me again. I thought of how much harm the Capitol has done to us, are still doing to us. They aren't going to get away with it now. Not for much longer.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey again, just saying that I will probably go on a break after this chapter because of Christmas and stuff so yeah. I'm leaving it on a part which you will all hate me for (evil laugh) and I hope and I am praying that I do this justice for everyone.

Anyway I will stop talking now and get on with the story because I bet you are all dying to know what I am on about.

Chapter 9

I kept this spirit up and I kept thinking about this one thought every moment after that. The Districts will take down the Capitol. We will be victorious. They will lose. We will win.

I may not be able to contribute but I know that something is happening. Judging by the questions they have been asking me for the broadcasts which I haven't really been paying attention to until now because I was too busy being exhausted and saving lifes, it sounds like something is happening.

The people in the Capitol seemed to be getting nervous as well. Some of the Capitol officials who beat me up on a regular basis were talking about it earlier.

"The rebels have a leader and a good one at that. I'm worried." I heard one of them say as they were walking towards my cell about to cause me pain as per usual.

"But we have the president. He can destroy anyone with his power." Another one argued.

"And the Capitol is strong. The districts are weak, they always have been." Another Capitol official said, agreeing with that one.

I could even feel the tension building up even outside, I could sometimes hear hushed whispers and voices through the wall about Peeta and the districts as I waited in my cell. It sounded like they were planning something. Maybe a counter attack.

I was still so proud of Peeta, I was still so proud that he had managed to become the Mockingjay in my place. I was proud that he had become such a strong leader and able to deliver speeches to help the Districts. Well i'm sure that's what he was doing anyway. He didn't need people to deliver him lines like I did. He was born for that role.

The tension was building up more and more everyday until it all culminated really late at night when the Capitol officials were finished with me and I was bruised and battered and trying to recover. I heard the footsteps of my guard approach my cell.

"Miss Everdeen. You are needed for one final broadcast." He said. I was a bit confused, usually a Capitol official came to tell me this. I went with him anyway.

One final broadcast. Something about that sentence gave me chills. I repeated it over and over again in my head. I began to whisper it as me and my guard walked down the corridors. One final broadcast. One final broadcast. It sounded like something serious and important. It sounded like the end of something. It also sounded like the start of something. It made my stomach twist with sudden anxiety. I was nervous.

I thought that my guard would take me to the green room with the fireplace which was where I usually filmed my broadcasts but he took me to another room with a massive screen. I immediately remembered it as the room me and Johanna went into when she showed me the propo of Peeta walking around the remains of District Twelve.

I stood in front of the gigantic screen and looked at my guard.

"Is Caesar coming?" I asked. He shook his head.

"What do I do then?" I asked him again.

He just shrugged and gave me the white puffy dress from my first broadcast to put on.

He then left the room.

Why were they leaving me alone unguarded? What was I here for?

I slowly put on the white puffy dress as it was still hard to put on clothes in my current state as I tried to work out what the hell was going on.

This was very strange, it was very strange indeed. There must be a reason why I am here but I wasn't sure why.

Suddenly a picture started flickering on the massive screen. It slowly started to reveal this place with lots of computers with controls lined up along the side. I saw a woman with grey coloured hair standing there, beside her was someone who I recognised as Plutarch. I then noticed Beetee sitting at the computers. And there, right in the middle and staring right at me like he has been waiting to see me again all along, Peeta.

"Hello Katniss." The grey haired woman said before Peeta even had a chance to speak, she had a commanding voice. "My name is President Coin."

"Hello President Coin." I replied because I didn't know what else to say. I was even more confused to what was going on than when I was dropped off here by my guard.

"You are most likely very confused to what is going on right now but here is a brief summary to why you are standing there: the guard who brought you in, he is an undercover rebel. He was assigned the task from the very beginning to plan to get you out of imprisonment but they kept swapping guards so it was hard for him to keep track. He is the one that you probably saw most of though." She explained.

My mouth was wide open. That guard, an undercover rebel? Assigned to get me out of here?

"We are going to do everything in our power to get you out of there Katniss." It was Peeta that spoke now, softly, gently. "They won't harm you anymore."

I tried hard not to show a smile of amusement on my face. They really do have everything planned out don't they?

"How will you get me out?" I asked. "Even if one guard is in on it, there are hundreds of others and important people that are loyal to the Capitol that won't let me get out alive."

"That's what we are trying to work out." Beetee said, I noticed that there was a wheelchair beside where he was sitting. That must be because of what happened in the arena, I thought to myself. "You are not alone Katniss."

I suddenly thought of Johanna. And Annie. They deserve to be rescued too. "What about Johanna and Annie? The other two victors? Are they getting rescued as well?" I asked a little anxiously. President Coin and Plutarch looked at each other.

"Of course we will. Don't worry. We will get you all out." President Coin replied. I sighed with relief.

I still didn't know how they could do this. But it was worth a try. Anything to get us out and to help the cause.

"Katniss. We need you to do a very special job for us." Plutarch then said, he looked a little sad as he looked me in the eyes. "We need you just to say a short speech, maybe about your time here and how you are behind the rebels in every single way. All three of us knew those things you said weren't you. You can show the Districts now that it was all a lie and you are willing to fight for them."

I felt a little unsure, a short speech? I didn't know how I could put into words about the hell I have been through in the last few weeks without bursting into tears in front of the whole nation. I didn't want that.

"I-I'm not sure I can." I tried to explain to them. "I don't think i'm ready to tell them."

Peeta came up to his side of the screen and put his hand on it. I walked over and did the same on my side. I closed my eyes and listened to his voice.

"Katniss, you can. I know you can. They will listen to you. Just tell it from the heart. Just trust me." I heard him say in a reassuring tone. His voice always had a special way of calming me down.

I still felt myself being hesitant as I walked away from the screen and placed my feet in the middle again.

I took a deep breath.

"I have faith in you Katniss." I heard Peeta whisper.

I cleared my throat.

"I want to tell the rebels that I am with them." I started, my voice clear but slow. "And I am alive in the Capitol, but not well."

"In here they beat me everyday, starve me and they don't let me rest, not even for one minute. They took the thing I held so close to me. Peeta's pearl that he gave me in the Quarter Quell arena. They took the one thing I needed to live and needed to survive in this place and smashed it into little pieces right in front of me. They laughed as they watched me crumble." I could sense Peeta having tears in his eyes.

"They made me feel like I was worthless, like i was a toy they could play with and then get tired of if they found a new one. Once they wanted me to give them information and I couldn't provide it, they started to tear me down. Piece by piece. Until there was nothing of my former self left." I began to cry too, tears slipping down my face. I was aware that the whole of Panem was watching me once again, listening to my horrible story.

"And I was on the verge of giving up, they wanted me to give up. But then i saw the image of an entire district which was once filled with innocent men, woman and children, buried under ashes and rubble. Never to be seen again." I could feel my voice beginning to get emotional. I felt myself beginning to get angry. Angry with the Capitol. I was getting so angry with them that I couldn't breathe.

"I have a message for President Snow." I said with power and raw emotion in my voice. "You can torture us and bomb us and burn our districts to the ground. But do you see that?" I had noticed that the door was open and I looked in the room behind me. I had seen a building from District Eight which had burst into flames. It looked like it was once a hospital.

I pointed at it with a shaking hand as I began to shout with rage and fury. "FIRE IS CATCHING AND IF WE BURN, YOU BURN WITH US!"

I suddenly heard clapping from the screen but it wasn't from the people who were once on. They had changed it to show the dining room from before. The people in there were clapping for me. They then began cheering and chanting my name.

I felt overwhelmed with pride and excitement and I found myself smiling as they did this. I did it. My short speech has made a difference. They believed in me once again. I stood up to the Capitol. I stood up to Snow. I was going to be rescued. Everything was going to be fine.

I didn't notice the people walking up behind me as I enjoyed this. I didn't hear their footsteps as the camera went back to President Coin, Beetee and Peeta as they beamed at me. I didn't notice until it was too late.

I screamed as they grabbed me with both hands. I panicked and kicked as they put a bag over my head so I couldn't see anything. Everything happened so fast.

"They're gonna kill her. They're going to kill her. WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING!" I heard Peeta yell so angrily from the screen that I didn't even recognise his voice. I heard President Coin trying to calm him down. I heard him kick over Beetee's wheelchair as he couldn't.

"STOP HURTING HER!" I heard him shouting at the screen as I struggled to get the hands away from me, as I struggled to escape from their clutches. "WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO? WE NEED TO STOP THEM! WE NEED TO STOP THEM!" I heard him kick over something else as I continued to struggle. I could feel them dragging me away as I still protested.

"PEETA!" I screamed as I felt myself moving. "PEETA!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as if my life depended on it.

He couldn't hear me anymore as they took me down so many corridors and up so many steps. I could just hear the sound of my own heart beating rapidly in panic.

I felt them shoving me into a room. As I stepped in I took in the temperature. It was cold. It was _so _cold.

I screamed and kicked again as they forced me down on a chair. They strapped my arms, my legs and my whole body onto it.

I was paralysed with fear. Nobody could save me now.

They wouldn't take the bag from on my head even when i heard him coming towards me deliberately slowly. Even when I could smell the stain of roses on his breath.

They waited until he was only inches away from my face until they took it off my head and I could see again.

_President Snow._

"Hello Miss Everdeen. What a nice surprise." He said and grinned. I felt like I was about to vomit.

In his hand he held a long syringe which had what looked like an orange sticky liquid inside of it.

"What is that?" I asked quietly. He just waved it around in the air as if to mock me.

"Oh you will find out soon enough." He simply said.

My body shook as my brain suddenly worked out why I was here. He heard me in there. He was going to punish me for standing up against him. He was going to punish me horribly.

"Miss Everdeen. It's the things we love the most that destroy us." He whispered just as he plunged the syringe into my arm and my body began to start having a violent spasm as it tried to reject whatever he was putting into my body.

I started to lose consciousness as it began to take hold of me.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys so I am back from having a break and I had a wonderful Christmas. I got lots of fandom stuff including DVDs and t-shirts and also a Blu Ray player (I haven't watched anything on it yet but we put on the main menu of a movie to test it and it looks amazing)

So yeah I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas too and now we can go back to being depressed again because of this Fanfiction ;) I'm honestly scared incase I start crying while writing this so if i'm bad, you will probably all be too (i'm sorry)

Anyway I will stop talking now and get on with the story.

Chapter 10

_They told me that my name was Katniss Everdeen. They told me that I was seventeen years old. They told me that my home was District Twelve. They told me that I was in something called the Hunger Games, twice. They told me that Peeta was the reason I had no home now. They told me that Peeta was the enemy. They told me that I had to destroy him_.

When I woke up suddenly, I was in a haze. A dream. I didn't know who I was. What I was or how I got here. It felt like my brain was fogged up and I couldn't tell what was real and what was made up. I still can't really.

The place where I am right now is a mansion owned by a man named President Snow. He is the president of Panem. In a place called the Capitol. I think I remember the Capitol part but as I said, my brain is a little fuzzy around the edges. Apparently we are about to be in a war, which is against the districts. I went to visit him at least once a day and he told me interesting stories. He says he is trying to help me to recover my memory. I was in so much of a state for a while that I couldn't even remember my own name so this was how he told me all of those things. I understood most of them up until the Peeta part.

"Who is Peeta?" I asked him one morning as he sat on his armchair comfortably and poured a cup of tea for himself. He asked if I wanted one but I shook my head. "I think I remember him...vaguely...but how did he destroy my home? how is he a threat?"

"Oh you will see." He simply said. He took a sip out of his cup as I watched him. He drank in a rather odd way and quickly like he was trying to hide something in his breath. "Some of your memories will come back. But sadly not all of them."

"What happened to me?" I asked him, needing to know. "How did I end up like this?"

"It's a rather long story that will only confuse you." He said and was about to take another sip of his tea when I took it from him.

"I can handle long stories. Tell me." I said sternly. He hardly reacted.

"Well we took you in because you don't have a home anymore." He explained. "Your brain was badly damaged in the arena. The last Hunger Games arena I mean. I had my very best doctors to help you and they did, well mostly. Mostly as in your brain seems to still be a little damaged but we saved you. That's all you need to know. Everything else is...too complicated."

I was suddenly quiet, taking this information in.

When I went back to the room I was kept in, it was small but cozy and it had a little bed which I slept in. I also had a guard but everyone seems to have one of those in this place.

I suddenly felt my eyelids beginning to get droppy and my eyesight was beginning to become blurry. It felt like I was slowly floating out of reality. That happened regularly but never like this.

"Miss Everdeen. Miss Everdeen, are you okay? Do you want me to get someone?" I barely heard the voice of my guard ask me as I closed my eyes and I felt myself losing my grip on this world.

And that's when some of the memories came back.

The first memory opened with what looked like a much younger version of myself sitting under a tree in the rain. I was hungry. No, I was starving. I had been looking for food and I hadn't had anything to eat for so long. Apparently in District Twelve everyone was like that, President Snow told me. I sat there clutching my stomach wondering if I would make it through the night. I was gritting my teeth to stop from crying out in pain.

Suddenly, I looked up and I saw a boy. He had blonde hair and he didn't look that much older than I did. Peeta. He lived in a bakery with his family and they owned the business.

I had ended up hiding under a tree which was just across from it.

Peeta looked at me with such sadness in his eyes. He looked really sorry for me. In his hand, he held a burnt loaf of bread. I watched as his mother shouted at him. I couldn't make out what she was saying but she sounded pretty angry. She then hit him and he winced. She left. Peeta looked at me again and then he threw the loaf of bread into the rain for me. It got a little dirty as it hit the floor but I didn't mind. It was still food and I was so hungry.

I mouthed thank you as he went inside and i took a bite as I couldn't wait any longer. As I felt it digest I oddly felt a little sick.

"It's probably because you haven't eaten in so long." I had thought to myself.

So I took another bite. Then another.

I then began to puke everywhere and I couldn't breathe. I tried to stand up but I was struggling. My body pulled me back down onto the ground and I continued to throw up again and again and again. I then started coughing uncontrollably in-between the puking.

When I looked closer into the now half eaten loaf and I saw for myself what he had put in it, I only had one thought.

Poison. He tried to poison me.

The second memory opened with me probably last year standing and waiting for something in a red dress. I looked at the TV which was in front of me and saw one of the tributes being interviewed by Caesar Flickerman. This was a trigger and my brain suddenly remembered this as the 74th Hunger Games interviews. I then saw what looked like Peeta probably last year as well coming towards me. As he got closer he looked dangerous, deadly.

I didn't have any time to react as I shoved me violently against a nearby wall. I screamed and I tried to get away. He just kept his arm locked around my throat.

"I know what you are Miss Everdeen." He hissed in my ear menacingly.

"W-what are you talking about?" I tried to say but it was hard when my neck was in serious danger of snapping.

"I know what you are and i'm going to make sure you will suffer in that arena." He continued to hiss in my ear. I began to shake and I didn't understand, what was he talking about? I heard a voice which sounded like someone my brain remembered as Haymitch telling him to stop. He shoved me hard against the wall again and I could feel my whole body quivering in shock and fear. As he was leaving he looked at me with threatening eyes.

The third memory opened with me sitting on the high branch of a tree with a special jacket on that apparently belonged to the 74th Hunger Games. It was dark and cold. I wrapped my special jacket further around myself to try and keep warm. I suddenly heard voices coming towards me from down below.

"Where is she?" A voice my memory remembered as Cato asked loudly, he was one of the Careers. This was the Career pack.

"She should be up one of these trees. I heard that she can climb well." Someone else said, my memory remembered the voice as Glimmer.

"She is and I know she is. I can smell her." A voice that I knew so well in my memory suddenly announced. It was Peeta.

"Peeta I want to kill her, not you." Someone apparently called Clove whined. I could hear her swinging a knife around.

"No I want to kill her!" Cato argued.

"Shut up you two. I want to be the one to kill her. I want to see her suffer." Said Peeta. He sounded so cold, so horrible. "I want to be the one who sees the light go out of her eyes. I want to be the one responsible."

I barely had time to breathe before my brain went onto the fourth memory. This was in a different arena. The 75th Hunger Games apparently. The Quarter Quell. I was with different people. Victors. We were all running from something. As I ran I quickly looked behind me and saw terrifying shapes of what looked like monkeys coming after us in the dark. Monkey mutts.

We had been in action for a long time as my legs were beginning to slow down because they were exhausted. My arms were also very tired like they had been pulling arrows for ages. Suddenly I felt two hands pushing me back. Pushing me towards the mutts.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked the person who was doing this, confused and scared.

"What do you think?" The person sneered and I yelled and kicked as I tried to stop him.

He kept pushing me and pushing me until I was nearly only inches away from the mutts.

"Peeta stop!" I screamed at him. I screamed at the other people too but in this memory they seemed unable to do anything as they were running from the mutts themselves. The last thing I remembered was Peeta running away and leaving me there as the monkey mutts began to tear at my body.

The fifth memory was still in the Quarter Quell arena as I automatically noticed that I had the same outfit on but we were sitting on a beach. The other people who my brain remembered as my allies were sitting with me. Peeta who was one of them picked up a shell which was laying on the beach and opened it. I thought it was going to be a pearl or something.

But here's the thing, it wasn't anything that you would expect to be inside a shell on even a fake beach.

He picked up what was in the shell and slowly but surely handed them to me. Nightlock berries.

"Eat them." Peeta whispered. He looked at me with cold eyes and an icy expression.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked him. I knew what they were.

"I said eat them. I want you to eat them. Nobody will miss you." Peeta whispered, he cocked his head to the side in a way which was almost terrifying.

"I won't, I can't-" I tried to explain but he cut me off.

"JUST EAT THEM! WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU JUST DIE!" he shouted, he forced them to my mouth and I felt myself choking as one of the berries began to touch the side of my lip and then one ended up being swallowed. Just before the light left my eyes I could hear him laughing to myself. A horrible, evil laugh. As if he was pleased and proud of himself with what he just did to me.

But the sixth memory was the worst of all.

I was in the Victory Tour train. About a month before the 75th Hunger Games were even announced apparently. I had woken up in the bed I had here screaming and gasping for air after a horrible nightmare and Peeta ran in.

"It was just a bad dream. I'm sorry for waking you." I said.

"It's okay. I get them too." Peeta said reassuringly, he sounded different in this memory. He sounded soft and caring.

I hesitated a little but then I asked. "Peeta, will you stay with me?"

He climbed into my bed and he pulled me into his arms. I laid my head against him and closed my eyes. Comforted.

"Always." He replied.

I didn't notice that he had brought in a knife from the train kitchen in to the room with him. I didn't notice what he was trying to do when he was getting close to me. I didn't notice until I suddenly felt something sharp and pointy on my back. I didn't even have time to scream or call for help when he stabbed me.

I came back to reality after seeing these memories disorientated and confused. I felt my heart beating non stop because that last one. I sat up slowly.

I now knew exactly what President Snow meant. Peeta was the enemy. Peeta tried to kill and hurt me so many times and has treated me so horribly. I must destroy him.

Just to clarify guys, the reason Katniss 'died' so many times is because they were caused by the Tracker Jacker serum which makes you unable to know if something is real or made up. Also Katniss is just really confused because she is hijacked and stuff. Plus those memories are obviously bullshit because President Snow is a evil such and such.

Also the part about the reason she has no home because of Peeta, don't worry I will get to that. All will be explained.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I knew I had to tell President Snow about this. Now that I finally understood what he was talking about, I felt like I had to.

"Come in Miss Everdeen." He said when I reached his room where he spends most of his time in. The one with the armchair. I sat down across from him as he was sipping slowly from another cup of tea. That guy really seems to enjoy his tea.

"I know about Peeta. I know what he's done." I said unable to stop myself from spilling it out. I could have swore that I saw just a glint of something in President Snow's eyes but then it was over quickly.

"Oh you poor, poor girl." He said sympathetically. He put his cup of tea down onto the saucer which was on the rather fancy table beside him and took my hand. "It's very unpleasant having to find out like that. I wouldn't wish it on anybody."

"Why would he do that?" I asked him. I began to feel angry at being used by Peeta like I was. I crawled back to him and then he would abuse me all over again. Well the girl in my memory was.

"I don't know dear, I honestly don't know." Sighed President Snow and he squeezed my hand gently as if to comfort me. "Sometimes fear does strange things to people. It makes them want to take over and have power and they don't care who gets in the way. He was probably scared of you. Scared because you had more power than him and had more of an impact on people than he did. He didn't care about you, i'm sorry to say this but he didn't. He didn't care about his people either and he certainly didn't care about who he was hurting along the way on his dangerous path of destruction."

I nodded as I was listening very carefully to what he was saying. My memories seemed to show this. He was jealous of me and so he wanted to kill me. It made sense.

"Miss Everdeen, I want to show you something." President Snow said quietly. "But you will have to concentrate very hard, do you understand?"

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"What I mean is i'm going to ask you to try and uncover another memory. So you can really see what Peeta is like, what he has done to not just you but to a whole district filled with innocent people. You are going to close your eyes and reach the very depths of your mind." He explained, he leaned over in his armchair so he was only a few inches away from me.

"I will try. I think I can try that." I whispered. If I wanted to find out more, I had to do this.

So I closed my eyes and tried my best to go into my mind, to the deepest part. The part where only the most painful memories are stored. Sometimes when i'm trying to sleep at night nowadays, I can feel this other girl in my brain. This other girl is trying to break free from inside of me. Trying to get out. Sometimes if i'm very quiet, I can hear her screaming. Screaming for help. I don't know who she is but it scares me.

This memory starts off with me in standing in the middle of what looks like the training centre. I look above me and I see various Capitol officials including some of the people who work with the games. The head Gamemaker isn't there though for some reason. I thought he would be. I suddenly notice a flash of blonde hair and I know who it is before I hear him. Peeta.

"Look i need you to do this." Peeta said urgently. He was loud enough for me to hear but no one else down here could as I was the only one in the training centre. "I need you to do this so nobody will know it was me."

"Why are you doing this?" One of the Capitol people asked him. "Don't you have better things to do than threaten a government to completely blow up another District?"

I froze and I felt my whole body starting to shake as I stood there. What on earth was he planning to do?

"EVERYONE NEEDS TO DIE! THEY ALL DESERVE TO DIE! I HATE THEM ALL!" Peeta suddenly yelled and he picked up a knife which was in his pocket and the Capitol person took a step back. Peeta took a step forward again so the sharp pointy part was only inches way from their throat.

I gasped as I felt the person struggling. Struggling to get away from him.

Peeta smiled at their discomfort and leaned even closer to the person. The knife touching the skin on their neck. "You wouldn't want anything to happen to you do you? Especially when you all play such important parts in the making of the games."

"F-fine." The person stuttered. Peeta moved his knife away from their neck and they relaxed.

"Okay fine. We will do it."

Peeta smiled again and this time it was in the nice, kind way. "Good. That's good. I want everyone in District Twelve to feel the pain I did when I was a child. The suffering and the agony. I especially want a certain boy named Gale Hawthorne to die."

Words couldn't describe the shock i felt when I slowly went back into reality. President Snow was sitting on his armchair sipping tea again. He was being observant. Watching me.

"how was that?" He asked me gently. "What did you see?"

"I saw..." How was I meant to describe that? How was I meant to describe how horrible and awful that was? "I saw Peeta. And he was-"

"Threatening the lifes of the Capitol people so they could destroy District Twelve and everyone in it?" He finished. He knew.

"Yes." I replied quietly. There was silence before I spoke again. This time my words came out a little shaky as I spoke. "H-he's a monster."

"I know." President Snow said. That's all he felt he should say. I agreed with his choice.

When I went back to my small but cozy room with the little bed thinking about that last memory and how it has affected me, I noticed that I had a visitor.

She was bald and had some bruises but I recognised her by her eyes as one of the allies in a memory.

"You're Johanna." I breathed. She nodded.

"Yep that's me." She replied as if it was obvious. Which it probably was.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her. Apparently her room was a cell and she must have done something pretty bad to end up in one of those.

"I've came to bring you to your senses." She said.

I looked at her. Bring me to my senses? What was she talking about?

"What do you mean?" I asked her being very confused indeed.

"I mean about Peeta." She explained. She sat down on my bed and looked up at me. "He's not what you currently think."

"He's not what I think?" I found myself laughing. "What am I supposed to think? That he's a nice guy?"

"He _is _a nice guy." Said Johanna. "Katniss. That's the point. He_ is _a nice guy. He is a lovely guy. He loves you."

"What a load of bullshit." I laughed again. What the hell was she talking about? "He tried to kill me when I was twelve by poisoning a loaf of bread. He pushed me into a wall and threatened me. He and some fellow careers were on the way to kill me again in the 74th Hunger Games. He pushed me into a pack of monkey mutts during the 75th Hunger Games and left me with them to tear my body apart so I would die. Do you not remember that part huh? Surely you remember that part. You were there!"

"Katniss. Katniss listen to me." Johanna stopped me as I began to rant. "Whatever they have told you, whatever you have seen: _It is all a lie_."

"It's a lie?" I laughed even harder than before. This girl was certainly crazy. No wonder that had locked her up in a cell. "How the fuck do you explain the fact he tried to stab me in the back after pretending to be nice to me? How could that be a lie? I remember it! Oh and here's the best one: how do you explain that he destroyed an entire district because he wanted everyone to die and suffer like he apparently did? And he put a freaking knife up to one of the Capitol people so they would do this? So they would do what he wanted? HOW ARE THEY LIES?"

"THEY ARE ALL LIES!" Johanna was shouting too. She had tears in her eyes. "THEY ARE MANIPULATING YOU KATNISS! WHY CAN YOU SEE IT? THAT BOY WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU! HE LOVES YOU FROM THE VERY DEPTHS OF HIS HEART! HE WOULD PROTECT YOU IN EVERY WAY HE CAN! HE COULD NEVER KILL YOU! HE COULD NEVER DELIBERATELY KILL ANYBODY ELSE EITHER! HE WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT EVER! ESPECIALLY NOT TO YOU!"

"You really are crazy, aren't you?" I said coldly.

Johanna grabbed me so hard that I felt like my arm was going to fall off. "Where is she? The real Katniss Everdeen? Where has she gone?"

"I don't know." I shrugged.

"I need her back. I need her back." Johanna fell to the ground and started sobbing.

"Peeta is the enemy. I need to destroy him." I simply said to her and then I left.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

President Snow said he needed to speak with me later that day so I went back to his room with the armchair. He was sitting there not drinking a cup of tea for once. Whatever he wants to talk to me about, it must be serious.

"Sit down Miss Everdeen." He said so I sat down in the other armchair which is across from him. I've never been asked to sit down by him before. Usually I just stood there awkwardly while he talked to me.

"I'm going to ask you a very serious question." He started and I looked at him closely. He had giant black circles under his eyes. He didn't look like he had been getting enough sleep lately at all. "It's going to help and benefit us with the war. It will also benefit you, after all Peeta is on their side."

"What is it? I'm ready to know." I replied. Whatever it was that he was going to tell me, it was going to affect me. I knew it.

"Would you like to be the Capitol's Mockingjay?" He asked me, looking right into my eyes.

Mockingjay. Apparently that was the name for a mascot for one side of a rebellion. A poster child. A leader. A face you see everywhere. A face you weren't likely to forget.

I knew this because I faintly remembered someone being a Mockingjay for the rebels although I couldn't quite remember who it was. I knew this was a very serious job and that President Snow was asking me to take on a role which was far greater than myself.

"Why should I do this? I mean, why do you want me to be your Mockingjay?" I asked.

"Because Katniss Everdeen, the girl you once were was a brave leader who could change people's minds and opinions. You would be a perfect fit for us." President Snow explained.

"We need someone like you on our side. The rebels are winning over the citizens of Panem at the moment and I would like to try and change that before it's too late."

"Hang on a minute." I stood up. My head started spinning as what often happens now when I get asked a lot of questions I don't know the answers to. I don't even know who I am and they are expecting me to know what side to be on for a war? What sense did that make?

"Miss Everdeen. This is for the best. Just trust me." President Snow tried to reassure me but I interrupted him before he could say anything else.

"How is this for the best? I only just found out what my name is and you are asking me to do this? Isn't this a bit much?" I sounded demanding when I spoke. I didn't usually speak to him like this. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I sat down immediately after I spoke and I felt my face going red.

"This is for the best because Peeta is the Mockingjay." President Snow stated. I felt my whole brain snapping into focus as soon as he said his name. "Peeta is the Mockingjay for the rebels and everyone is beginning to side with him. Believing his lies."

"And you want me to be the Capitol's Mockingjay because you want me to save the people from him?" I asked. Now I understood what he wanted and it made perfect sense. Peeta didn't deserve to be the rebel's Mockingjay. Everyone was such a fool for believing him.

"Yes." President Snow said slowly but boldly. "That is correct."

"I'll do it." I replied. Because I will.

President Snow looked pleased with me. He smiled a little and then he told me I had made the right choice.

"I have a special outfit all prepared for you. Come and I will show you." President Snow said softly and I followed him to a closet at the back of the room which I hadn't even noticed in all of my visits. He told one of his servants who was in the room to open the door. In there lay a beautiful outfit which nearly took my breath away. It was a black sparky suit which had delicate wings coming out at the back. I touched them and they were made from velvet. I sighed with pride. This was mine. My very own.

"Isn't it beautiful?" President Snow was beaming as he spoke. I could only nod.

"I want you to put it on and then my servant here will take you downstairs." President Snow explained. "There we will film our first propo."

So I managed to put the dress on which turned out looking perfect. If a Mockingjay was a person, it would be me. As I looked in the mirror though I noticed some bruises on my face that were very faint but still visible if you looked up close. I had never seen them properly until now. I touched one of them carefully with one finger and I flinched. I wondered what the other girl who used to be me must have done to cause them to be there.

The servant took me downstairs and into this room which was very dark. I fumbled around for a few minutes until I found a light switch. There was some cameras set up and President Snow was sitting on what looked like a white throne in the centre of the room.

"This is just for show." He said when he saw me. He then took in my appearance.

"You look gorgeous my dear. Just like a real Mockingjay." He said beaming again.

"Thank you." I muttered and went over to him to see what I was going to do.

"Well first of all, I want you to smile and act like you enjoy being here. Like you enjoy being in the Capitol. You do don't you?" He asked me. He had a smile on his face and I knew the answer he wanted anyway.

"Um yeah I guess." I said which was true and that was all he needed to be reassured.

"Good." He then handed me a card with words on the back. "And the only other thing you need to do is read from this card."

"Okay." I replied. I looked at the card quickly and then stood next to him. He went quiet and I could hear the sound of the cameras turning on.

Then someone whispered action and President Snow began to talk first. He talked about how we should be proud to be a part of Panem and all of that stuff. I didn't really understand what he was on about but I knew it was better than the lies Peeta was telling people.

"And now my lovely Mockingjay who i'm sure you all know as Katniss Everdeen would like to say a few words." He said to finish and then i felt all eyes on me.

I stood a deep breathe and began. "The Capitol is the beating heart of Panem. Without it, we would be nothing. We give you peace. We allow you to be free. If you start a war, it would be taking all of that away and it will only be you who will pay." I was silent for a moment just for effect before I said the last part. "Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever."

The cameras stopped rolling a few seconds after i stopped speaking and President Snow gave me a massive pat on the back.

"You did wonderfully Miss Everdeen." He sounded very pleased indeed. "You did such a great job. You are our perfect Mockingjay."

I was their perfect Mockingjay.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

And that's how it began. Me being the Capitol's Mockingjay. Everyday there was a new propo made and I had to be in it. I had to put on my Mockingjay suit. I had to look my best. I had to smile and read the cards that President Snow gave me in a clear and confident manner. Sometimes afterwards there was a special dinner and I was invited. The main courses were amazing and the desserts were even better. Sometimes I was so full up that I had to be carried back to my room because I couldn't even move. I was beginning to really like being here in the Capitol. I no longer had to try and fake my complete happiness. I even wondered why there were rebels trying to fight the Capitol in the first place. They seemed like pleasant people.

One day I had came back after one of these special dinners feeling extremely bloated and Johanna was sitting on the edge of my bed waiting for me.

"What the hell do you want?" I snapped. I was fed up with her rubbish.

"I've come for one last chance you idiotic creature." Johanna said irritably. She sounded snappy when she insulted me as well.

"One last chance for what? To show me that Peeta is a really nice guy? That's not going to work. You have no proof." I simply stated.

"Oh but I do." Johanna replied smirking and she handed me two tapes. On one of these tapes it said 74 and on the other one 75. I frowned.

"These are clips that will change your opinion on Peeta Mellark completely. Maybe it will knock some sense into you again." Johanna said.

"And where are we going to watch these tapes?" I asked. I really didn't believe her. Nothing could change my opinion on Peeta. Not now that I remember how horrible he really is.

"Come on and I will show you." Johanna replied and she dragged me out of my room and down many flights of stairs and through so many corridors. I passed a room that my brain seemed to remember for some reason so I made her stop me in my tracks. It was one of the places where they keep prisoners. There was about a dozen cells with high metal bars all in a line at one side of the room and about a dozen identical cells were all in a line at the other side.

"Why do I remember this room?" I whispered.

Johanna sounded so sad and heartbroken when she spoke. "Because the girl who used to be you was kept in here."

There was a silence from both of us. It was long and eerie.

We finally reached the room that we were apparently to watch the tapes on. It had lots of little TVs joined together along one side of it. Apart from that it looked rather empty.

"They just show the surveillance footage of the Capitol city in here." Johanna explained. "It's not that interesting most of the time so people don't really come down here unless there's an emergency."

I nodded. "How do you know where everything is here? Aren't you meant to be a prisoner?" I asked. She did a lot of roaming for someone who is meant to be locked up, I thought to myself.

"I used to be a proper prisoner but I found a way to get out of my cell from time to time." She said and then she smiled. Mostly to herself.

She then shut the door carefully and she went over to one of the TVs putting the first tape in to a special slot at the bottom. She put the clip on fast forward to find the part she wanted so most of the first half was just a blur of colours and tributes. I kept blinking because it made my eyes hurt. She finally stopped it and it was at a part where tributes were in costumes in carriages going round and round while the audience cheered. I suddenly recognised myself and Peeta in one of the carriages. The crowd waved to us as they saw us in our spectacular fire costumes. Peeta suddenly pulled at my hand. I held my breath because I knew all too well he could do something. Instead of doing anything horrible, he lifted my arm up in the air while holding my hand. We both smiled as the audience cheered even louder.

"See." Said Johanna.

"See what?" I asked.

"He's not doing anything to threaten you." Johanna continued. "He's holding your hand."

I shrugged. "I guess. It doesn't mean he maybe wants to do it though. Maybe it's just for show."

"It could be and it could also be that he's trying to be your friend." Johanna suggested.

She fast forwarded quite a lot and my eyes were starting to hurt again. It seemed like a while until we got to the next part which opened with me and Peeta in a cave in what looked to be the games. I said that I needed to get something at the Cornucopia which could save his life but he tried to stop me because of my safety. I ended up going anyway.

"He didn't want you to get hurt." Johanna said. She looked at me. "That's not horrible is it?"

"No." I said. "I guess not." I wasn't totally convinced but she was right.

She took that tape out and then she put in the other one. This time it was the one which said 75. This ended up being even more of a blur as we went through even more colours and tributes and costumes and parades and interviews. I thought that this constant fast forwarding was never going to end until Johanna stopped it at a part where me and some victors including Peeta were walking.

"But how do you know about this part if you were somewhere else?" I asked her.

"I've watched this tape hundreds of times." She explained. "It's what I do when I get bored. It's kind of stupid isn't it?"

I didn't reply because right at the moment Peeta hit the forcefield in the tape. We both watched as I came running over to him and one of the victors, Finnick I think, started to do CPR on him. I looked distressed and really upset as Finnick was continuing to blow into him.

"Come on Peeta." He kept muttering as he was doing it. "Peeta come on."

"Peeta." I said with tears running down my cheeks. "Please, Peeta."

Finnick's CPR seemed to have worked because after a few seconds of panic, Peeta suddenly opened his eyes. I looked at him with relief and there was soon tears of joy rolling down my face instead of sadness.

"Peeta. Oh my god." I could hardly speak because I was so shaken up with both horror and happiness. "You were dead. Y-your heart stopped."

"Be careful. There's a forcefield up there." Peeta replied.

"D-do you wanna stand up?" I asked him as my hands appeared to be shaking as I cupped his face in my hands. He did and my hands were still shaking as we hugged.

"Does that prove anything?" Johanna asked me. I stood there unable to say a word.

"I really loved him." I breathed. "I wouldn't have cared so much if I didn't. He must have been a nice guy at some points. Maybe sometimes he just couldn't control himself. We must have went through so much you know?"

Johanna nodded at me as if she had made some progress. Perhaps we have.

Johanna fast forwarded yet again as she said she had one final part to show me. She stopped at a part where me and Peeta were sitting on a beach in what looked to be the arena.

"Katniss, I don't know what kind of deals you made with Haymitch but you need to promise me this." Peeta began. I then looked at him as he pulled out a locket with my family members as pictures inside. My mom, Prim and Gale.

"They need you Katniss. If you die and I live, there's no life for me at all back in District Twelve. There's nothing that I care about. Nobody needs me."

I appeared to sound upset. "Peeta."

"Nobody needs me." He said. I looked at him again. "It's true. Nobody does."

I took his hand and held it in mine. I leaned closer and closer to him until we were almost inches apart. "I do. I need you."

And then we kissed.

"He can't have been that horrible." I muttered to myself. "He was so sweet there. And I wouldn't have said that if he was."

"Exactly." Johanna said. "He's not horrible. He is a nice guy."

My mind was going round in circles as I tried to take in this new information. Peeta could sometimes lash out as seen in my memories but here he appeared to be nicer. Maybe he wasn't awful all the time. Maybe he could be nice too. Maybe he just had his moments. But he tried to poison me didn't he? He tried to do all of those things to me didn't he? Maybe he just couldn't work out how he felt for me. Maybe he went down a dark path. Maybe he's making up for it now, trying to put things right. Maybe that's why he's being the Mockingjay for the rebels. I don't even know the reason why the rebels are fighting back. He's trying to do good for other people. Maybe he's more good instead of bad.

"Johanna. Johanna I need to do something." I suddenly said. "I need to go."

"Where are you going?" She asked me. She looked a little worried but it was probably because I didn't know my way around this place.

"To find Snow. I'm going to put this right." I started walking and she was walking with me.

"What are you going to put right? You being the Capitol's Mockingjay?" She asked.

I stopped for a moment as she looked at me. "Yes. I'm going to tell him I don't want to do this anymore."

I didn't know my way around a lot of here but Johanna did. We went up a lot of stairs until she brought me to the room where President Snow always seems to be. She left me there and I knocked on the door. I was so stupid. I was so foolish. Being the Capitol's Mockingjay because of Peeta. I now know that this isn't the right thing to do if Peeta was trying to make things right.

"Come in Miss Everdeen." I heard President Snow's voice say after a moment. I stood right in front of him as he sat there in his armchair drinking yet another cup of tea.

I didn't even give him time to say anything himself. "I don't want to be the Capitol's Mockingjay anymore."

President Snow looked confused. "Why? Why do you say that? Is it because you feel you aren't confident enough? Dear you are doing wonderfully."

"No it's because Peeta isn't as horrible as I thought he was." I explained. "I think he went on a dark path but he is trying to make things right now."

President Snow looked even more confused. He sat his cup of tea down on his saucer. "But you saw the things Peeta did to you. You saw them in your memories."

"Yes. I did." I replied. "But I remember other things too now. When he was being nicer."

"But he was never nice to you." President Snow suddenly sounded cold and hard. "He was never nice to you."

"But he _was_. In these memories he was. He was lovely and he-" I started to explain but he got up from his chair and walked up to me until he was only inches away from where I was standing. I suddenly felt scared. This feeling seemed to suddenly be familiar around him.

"Miss Everdeen. You will hate Peeta Mellark. You will hate him until the day you die. You will destroy him." He whispered in my ear. Why was he acting like this? I felt myself starting to shiver and it wasn't because it was cold.

He suddenly grabbed my arm tightly.

"What the hell are you doing?" I yelled as he pushed me against the wall. He got out a long syringe which he had been hiding behind his chair as he was sitting there. I remember seeing the outline of something big and long behind that chair during my visits but never knowing exactly what I was. Now I knew. And I seemed to recognise it.

"I knew this would happen." He muttered. "I just _knew_ it."

"You knew what would happen?" I asked, my voice came out as a faint whisper because I was beginning to get really scared now.

"I knew that you would start to see the real Peeta." He snarled.

"The real Peeta? What are you-" I started to speak because I didn't have a clue what was going on but he plunged the syringe into my arm and I fell to the floor. My body started to shake violently on the ground. I screamed in pain as I began to feel the effects starting to work on my mind.

"What makes you think it won't happen again?" Asked someone.

"Oh I added a much higher dosage this time." President Snow replied.

Him smiling at me was the last thing I saw before I completely blacked out.


	14. Chapter 14

Hey guys so just to say that I will probably try to write the next chapter at my gran's house tomorrow as i'm going there for New Year's Day dinner and that chapter. Well I don't know if you want to know what that chapter is for now because I don't want you all to freak out but maybe I will tell you at the start of that chapter. Anyway I hope you all have a nice New Year and I am spending mine watching Catching Fire with my new Blu Ray player (therefore probably crying my eyes out)

I'll stop talking now and I will get on with the story.

Chapter 14

When I woke up, everything seemed so strange. It was like I couldn't see anything clearly. I knew I had felt like this before but I felt as though everything was permanently disorientated.

The walls spun in circles even when I sat down and my eyes kept shifting in and out of focus. I couldn't concentrate. I tried closing my eyes but all I could see was Peeta. This was driving me insane. It was driving me so insane that I had to clench my fists to stop myself from lashing out. From hitting something. From running down that corridor and going crazy.

I had to fight it, I kept telling myself. I couldn't let it win. I couldn't let it take me.

The memories came every single time I closed my eyes. The memories of Peeta. They made me so angry. That fucking monster. I thought he was nice. Even just a little bit. I was wrong.

I had more memories now and they were suffocating me. Pulling me down. They were proving more and more that I hated that boy with all of my very being. With all of my heart. I wanted to tear him apart. I wanted to watch him in pain. I wanted to watch him suffer. Like he made me.

The memories that I thought I knew from the tapes were completely different. I didn't know what to believe anymore because the Capitol had portrayed him as a nice guy in those tapes which he wasn't, oh no. I remembered now. The Capitol had lied to me but President Snow was right. He didn't make the tapes but someone else did. He was trying to tell me the truth and I had ignored him. I really was an idiot.

The first memory that had been shown him as a nice guy was at the 74th Hunger Games tribute parade where in the tape, he held his hand in mine as he pulled my arm up and the audience cheered. In my memory, it was different.

Peeta suddenly looked at me with the most twisted look on his face as we were in the carriage being pulled along by horses. Our fire dresses were still as spectacular as ever so that was true.

"I don't want to be on the same carriage as you." He suddenly sneered and to mine and the audience's horror, he shoved me off the carriage. I yelled as I fell to the ground. I could feel my fire costume starting to burn my skin as I sat there. He must have pressed some sort of setting when I wasn't looking. My arms and legs were burning up and I began screaming because the pain was unbearable. I watched the carriage going off into the distance and I saw him staring at me. He was laughing at my distress.

The second memory that had shown him as a nice guy was in the 74th Hunger Games when he proved he cared for my safety in the tape when I said I was going to get something at the Cornucopia which could save his life and he told me not to go as it was too dangerous. In this it was quite the opposite.

In the real version, I had went because he told me to go. I watched behind a bush as another tribute, her name was Foxface I think, ran quickly over to her District bag and then ran off with it. Nobody but me even noticed she had been there. I then ran myself over to my District bag as fast as I could but someone else had spotted me. They quickly pinned me to the ground and put a knife next to my throat. I recognised her faintly as Clove. A Career tribute.

"This is what Peeta wanted me to do to you. That's why he asked me to come out here." She said to me with a smirk on her face as I squirmed on the ground trying to get away. "He wants me to kill you for him." I closed my eyes because I knew in my heart that I had no chance against her.

The third memory that had shown him as a nice guy was in the 75th Hunger Games. In the tape he had been hit by the forcefield. I had shown that I was deeply upset as he could have died but Finnick saved him. I was relieved when he was saved. This was very different.

Me, Peeta and the other victors had been walking when Peeta suddenly pushed me into what was a forcefield. I felt the light going out of me as my body flew backwards at an alarmingly fast speed. However I was still slightly conscious enough to hear him and the other victors talking.

"We can't just leave her Peeta." Said one of them. It sounded like Johanna.

"Yes we can. This is our chance." He replied. His voice had a strange tone. It sounded almost sinister.

"Our chance for what? Peeta you just pushed her into there!" someone who I think was Finnick exclaimed.

"I know." Peeta simply said. "I meant to."

"You meant to kill her?" Finnick asked. He sounded confused and angry.

"Yes. I did." Peeta said and then I heard him moving away from me. I suddenly felt his foot kicking the side of my face hard and I fell completely unconscious.

The last memory that had shown him as a nice guy in the tape was later on in the 75th Hunger Games. In the tape he told me that I couldn't die because my family needed me and that nobody needed him. I told him that I needed him and we kissed. This memory had started off exactly the same.

"Katniss, I don't know what kind of deals you made with Haymitch but you need to promise me this." Peeta began. I then looked at him as he pulled out a locket with my family members as pictures inside. My mom, Prim and Gale.

"They need you Katniss. If you die and I live, there's no life for me at all back in District Twelve. There's nothing that I care about. Nobody needs me."

I appeared to sound upset. "Peeta."

"Nobody needs me." He said. I looked at him again. "It's true. Nobody does."

I took his hand and held it in mine. I leaned closer and closer to him until we were almost inches apart. "I do. I need you."

When we were almost kissing, he suddenly whispered in my ear. "Don't be silly Katniss. I don't love you. I never have. I was just playing with your feelings to see how you would react."

He then shoved me away from him as if I was nothing.

Peeta was a bad guy. He was a horrible guy completely. I remembered now. I remembered everything. I remembered what a vile creature he was. I wanted revenge. I needed revenge on him. I wanted to show him what it feels like to be treated like that time and time again.

I began to clench my fists again as i opened my eyes and came out of those memories for probably the 100th time. Clenching my fists kept me sane. It kept me stable. Beads of sweat were starting to show on my forehead as I was struggling to control myself. Struggling to stop myself from being this angry. I kept thinking of Peeta. I kept thinking of that sweet face which completely hid his real personality. It made me so mad. It made me so _so_ mad.

It was like this monster inside of me wanted to break free. It wanted to tear down cities and countries and worlds. I had to stop it. But I couldn't.

I felt myself unclenching my fists. I felt this monster starting to take over me. It was starting to take over my body. It was starting to take complete control of me.

_Peeta is the enemy. I have to destroy him. Peeta is the enemy. I have to destroy him. Peeta is the enemy. I have to destroy him. Peeta is the enemy. I have to destroy him. _

This was the only thought running through my head. Before I knew what I was doing, I picked up one of the tapes that was still there and started smashing it into little pieces on the ground. I then picked up the other one and did the same. Screaming. Screaming at the top of my lungs. Constantly screaming those words. Over and over again.

When I had stopped smashing them, I knew I had to tell President Snow. I knew I had to tell them that he was right and I was wrong. I should have listened to him. I wanted to be their Mockingjay again. I needed to find a way to take Peeta down.

So i went myself to find where he usually is. My brain could at least remember that. When I was halfway down about the second corridor, I was too distracted by my dangerous thoughts that I failed to notice a bag going over my head. I seemed to remember something like this happening before so I began to shout.

"Sssh. Keep calm. Don't worry. We aren't here to hurt you." Said the voice. I was struggling to keep calm under the bag and I clenched my fists again. Who was this and what were they planning to do with me?

"We are here to rescue you." The voice said again. I suddenly felt them lifting me up and taking me away.


	15. Chapter 15

Hey guys so you will be sad and maybe a little shocked to know that this will be the last chapter of this Fanfiction. I am actually almost crying as I am writing this because I have enjoyed this story so much and it has been such an emotional roller coaster for the characters (especially Katniss) the readers which is you all and also me. I hope this ending will be good and it will be very effective. You never know, I might start writing another story in a couple of months after my mock exams are over or during the summer holidays when I am completely free. I don't want to move on and let this story go lol

So anyway, I know you are all dying to know how I am finishing this or are wondering how I will. I have actually planned the ending ever since the first chapter and I am scared but excited to finally write it. Goodbye everyone until we meet again (well you can still PM me anytime if you wanna talk I try to be friendly haha)

Chapter 15

As I slowly opened one eye, I faintly saw what was in the room that I was held in. I noticed a row of cabinets at my left and a small table which seemed to be filled with medical equipment at my right. I slowly opened the other eye and I got a clearer picture. I seemed to be in some sort of hospital room. I looked at my arm and I saw a small tube that was connected to a IV drip. There was also a heart monitor at the side next to it. My heart at the moment seemed to be beating normally.

I sat up and noticed that the room as a whole looked completely different to any of the rooms in the mansion in the Capitol where I was before. It looked nothing like them. Where the hell was I?

"Hello Katniss." i suddenly noticed a woman coming over to me who had a uniform on. She looked like a nurse. I wondered why it was grey instead of white. Nurses usually wear white uniforms don't they?

"Hello." I replied back warily. I didn't trust this person even if she did look okay. I was in a place I have never been before. I didn't trust anyone here.

"I was the nurse who treated you." She said. She sat on the edge of my bed and looked into my eyes. "You were fine for the rescue but as soon as you were brought in here you just lost it. You went crazy."

"I-i don't remember." I muttered. It's true. I didn't. I didn't know what happened. I just remember a bag going over my head as I was walking in the mansion to find President Snow and I was told I was going to be rescued. Then I woke up here.

"I know you don't." The nurse said softly and sat at the edge of my bed. She had a kind face and very rosy cheeks. When she smiled at me I almost felt the urge to smile back. "I didn't think you would. People who end up like that often don't remember anything. Although I don't know what's wrong with you."

I didn't know what was wrong with me either. I could still feel it inside of me. I could still feel it in my system. This monster. Just waiting to unleash itself. Waiting for the right time. I clenched my fists again and the nurse looked concerned.

"I do this to stop...to stop whatever it is that's wrong with me from coming back out." I explained hesitantly. She nodded as if she understood. She didn't understand. She couldn't possibly understand what it's like. Being this unpredictable.

We sat there for a little while in silence. I was still wondering where I was but I knew better than to ask. I was in a hospital. I was safe. That's all I needed to know right now.

I looked at the tube on my arm. "Do I still need this?"

The nurse shrugged. "I don't think so. You are a lot better now. And your heart rate also seems pretty fine to me."

I sat there awkwardly as the nurse came over to me and gently took the tube off from where it was taped on the side of my arm. We both breathed a sigh of relief.

"I think we need to take a few x-rays though." The nurse said. "Don't worry, they aren't painful."

"Have I broken anything?" I asked her. A little worried as she was asking for an x-ray.

"Not recently but I noticed that you have quite a few bruises. On your face and other places on your body." The nurse replied. "And your leg seemed to be a little dodgy. It looks like it was damaged a while ago but you limp a bit."

I nodded. There wasn't anything else to say. I didn't know where those bruises came from and I certainly didn't know what happened to my leg.

"Your eyes as well." The nurse suddenly said. "The skin around one of them seems to be a little sensitive. It seems as if you used to have a black eye."

I still didn't say anything. I didn't know why it was like that either.

She helped me slowly get myself off the bed and then she took me to a machine which was for x-rays at the other end of the room. I stared into space the entire time and I was only brought back to reality when she showed me the pictures on a small screen.

My vital organs looked fine. Non damaged. My legs did look a little dodgy in places as the nurse said but she said I was fine apart from bruises. And I looked a little thin. My body was mostly fine but my mind wasn't.

"The other two victors were rescued too. Johanna and Annie. You are all going to be fine. Well as fine as you can be." The nurse said reassuringly. I knew I should feel some sort of happiness and relief that they were rescued too but for some reason I didn't feel anything.

I was just so confused.

When she was done showing me the photos, I sat on the edge of my bed and started staring into space again. Staring. Staring. Staring at nothing but concentrating hard. I was trying so hard not to flip out again. I didn't want to hurt the nurse. She seemed nice.

One hour passed. No one seemed to be allowed in here except from the nurses and doctors. It was probably some sort of safety precaution. And then another.

Until I looked outside a small window which was across from me at eye level as I sat there and I suddenly saw someone. I recognised them from a memory as Finnick. Annie suddenly appeared out of nowhere and she ran up to him. They were hugging and sobbing. Finnick was pulling Annie into his arms and she looked like the happiest person in the world. A few seconds passed of them having a wonderful reunion and then I heard my door open. It opened slowly and a little hesitantly.

"Katniss?" The voice said. The voice sounded so familiar. It sounded_ oh_ so familiar.

It was the voice from my memory. It was the voice that rocked me to my core. It was the voice I hated. It was the voice that told me so many horrible things. It was the voice that I wanted to stop. It was the voice I wanted to stop working. It was the voice I wanted to stop hurting me.

I unclenched my fists as I felt the monster coming to resurface again. I felt it awaking. I felt it going through my entire body. It was making the hairs on my arms and legs stand up on end. I felt my hands starting to shake. Starting to shake with anger. Starting to shake with rage. I couldn't stop it now. I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to. This monster of rage.

"Katniss? Are you okay?" The voice said again. I could feel the owner of that voice coming close to me. And closer. And closer.

He was right behind me. Peeta was behind me.

My heart started pounding violently in my chest and my breathing became extremely irregular. I felt everything. Every memory of him. How he treated me. How he laughed at me. How he used to tear me down piece by piece like I was just a speck of dirt on his shoe. How he tried to kill me so many times. So many fucking times.

"Katniss?" He was calling my name again. "Katniss? Why won't you answer me? Katniss?"

My heart was beating so loudly as I felt myself turning round. Very slowly. Turning round to face him. I saw his face. He looked at me with pity. He looked at me like he felt sorry for me. It made me even more angry. He had no right to do that. He had no fucking right.

When I finally faced him. We looked at each other. Right at each other. Like there was no one else in the room. The rage was building up inside of me. I was trying so hard not to scream. I started clenching my fists again but I felt myself losing my sanity as I was looking straight at him. I was looking straight at my enemy.

Was he a friend or a foe? No. That was never a question. He was always the foe._ Always._

_Peeta is the enemy. I have to destroy him._

"Katniss why wont you speak to me?" Peeta had tears in his eyes. They were threatening to spill out. "Katniss what's wrong?" His voice sounded gentle.

I continued to look at him.

_Peeta is the enemy. I have to destroy him._

"Katniss?" Peeta asked again. He was shaking too and the tears that were building up in his eyes were starting to flow down his cheeks slowly. "Katniss?"

I knew I couldn't keep control much longer. I was about to lose it. The longer I looked at him the more I felt it. The anger. The rage. The monster. The monster inside of me. It was about to break free. It was about to go down.

_Peeta is the enemy. I have to destroy him._

"Katniss? Nurse what's wrong with her?"

_Peeta is the enemy. I have to destroy him._

"KATNISS? SPEAK TO ME!"

_Peeta is the enemy. I have to destroy him._

"KATNISS? WHY WON'T YOU SPEAK TO ME? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? KATNISS?"

I looked right at him one last time. I took in his whole face. All the little wrinkles and all the little details. Then I looked down at his throat. His stupid, stupid throat. Which his stupid, stupid voice comes out of.

Something suddenly clicked in my mind. Everything suddenly made sense.

I knew what I had to do.

"Katniss?"

And that's when I went completely insane and lunged myself at him.

Peeta's POV

I stood there in my neck brace and I watched her in that white room. That wasn't Katniss. I knew Katniss and she never acted like that. She loved me and I loved her. That's how it worked. That's how it was supposed to work. She only just realised that she loved me back.

She was screaming but I couldn't hear her as the room was soundproof. She was thrashing around violently on a bed. She looked so confused and scared. She was screaming so loud but nobody could hear her. She was alone with her thoughts. As I was alone with mine.

She tried to kill me.

The girl I loved tried to kill me.

She tried to strangle me.

But I still loved her. Yes I did.

I wondered how this could have happened. How the hijacking process could have worked. That's what they told me was wrong with her. She was hijacked. They began with beating her so she would give up, starving her, not letting her sleep and then they completely stripped her of her identity. She didn't even know who she was anymore.

As I continued to watch her thrash about on the bed, i knew who did this to me.

Snow. He took her so cruelly from me. To punish me for being the Mockingjay.

I wanted to mourn the old Katniss, the one who could change a nation and start a revolution. The one who did love me although it took her a while to realise it. But she did. That night on the Quarter Quell beach. I also wanted to forget that they replaced her with this monster.

No I couldn't call her a monster. I wasn't allowed to judge her. I couldn't possibly know what was going through her mind. The horrible thoughts and her confusion. No one did.

There was already talk of specialists coming in to the hospital to help her. She wouldn't recognise them so she couldn't hurt them. They were going to try and help her. To get the high doses of Tracker Jacker venom out of her body. Before it was too late.

My eyes were red and sore. When she attacked me, she went for my throat and was inches away from killing me. I wouldn't be standing here right now if it wasn't for Boggs. That's a scary thought.

She still didn't know I was there. She still didn't know I was watching her. That's how deranged she currently was.

No, not deranged. I told myself. Hijacked.

How could they take the girl on fire away from me? How was it even possible?

She couldn't remember who I was.

This figure on the bed, she didn't remember the man she loved. She thought he was her enemy.

And that thought broke me more than anything.

She started to thrash around even more violently, her eyes looked deadly and I flinched a little as I stood there.

I knew I had to help her.

I knew it would be hard, but I could try.

This wasn't the end.

This couldn't be the end.

This couldn't be the end of the tale of the star crossed lovers of District Twelve.

I knew that was killing me but I still stood there and watched her. Watched her going insane and she had no way of controlling herself.

I couldn't let it be the end.

I had to bring her back.

Hey so I've edited this again as I can't do an author note to say that because of popular demand and people seem to want me to keep going with this story, there IS GOING TO BE A PART 2. It will probably be around when Mockingjay part 2 comes out as it's going to be based on both the book and the movie.

DON'T WORRY IT ISN'T OVER YET.

stay tuned.


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